Oi! That means hello in Portuguese. I study portuguese. I'm one of those language people. :D

It has been a while, the title of this blog has a lot to answer for that. I guess everyone has felt abandoned in one way or another, you know, like when you're meant to meet up with someone but they're running late so you feel alone ...also kinda like an idiot. Point being, the feeling of being left totally alone, physically as well as emotionally can be ...well sad, for lack of a better word.

As you may or may not have guessed this will be a pretty depressing post, however I don't care, so neither should you really.
I always used to (and pretty much still do) just watch people and see how happy they looked. So damn happy. Then I'd think of course they look happy, no one is gonna walk around with a sign around their neck airing all their problems.
Life is shit. Humans are awful (given the very few exceptions) but we deal with these inconveniences; death, heartbreak,bankruptcy ...you see where I'm going with this. 
So how does one deal with these things? Find a hobby perhaps? A distraction of some sort? Bottle it up deep inside and hope no one ever discovers it? I say all of the above (maybe with the exception of the last one) an output is what EVERYONE needs in life. Of course you knew that, you're just waiting for me to get to my point, however like in my other blogs i have no point, I'm just making an observation. People are always looking for an answer to life, myself included, we search through music, art, words, books, pretty much everything. There's no answer to life. Who here on earth has an answer to life?
Instead of trying to "find ourselves" or find "meaning in life" let's just follow the lyrics of every single pop song in the world and LIVE! What else is life for?

You see how I made my transition from feeling abandoned to living life? The word random doesn't even cover me anymore!
Maybe it stems from childhood (the abandonment not the randomness) my real "father" ditching  my mother and I before she even gave birth to me, can that even be used an excuse? Sadly enough, don't children experience that even more in this day and age? Maybe I do isolate myself from others, I always used being 'a quiet person' as an excuse but I know i can talk! People close to me know that I can talk. So what is it then, how can I be in a room filled with people I know and feel like I'm not even present in the room? Who cares right?
I'm going to own who I am, I am QUIET, but I'm an observer. I enjoy sitting in a room listening to my friends having a conversation being crazy AF (sad i know) if my input is needed then believe me, my opinion will be put across. I value myself as a human being, i have personal issues but no one else can tell me who I am or who I'm supposed to be. That's the same as everyone else (even you blog reading person) that's what defines individuality, you are you, no one else!
I like quiet me, I enjoy my own company at times and I still have a lot to discover about myself! So maybe feeling abandoned doesn't lie with me being who I am, maybe its with the company I keep...
But not my London bebbys, I love my London bebbys!