At the age of 14, I am just like many of you going through puberty transition from a boy to a teenage. It may not at this age that I discover my interest in girls. All the while I believe I am a normal boy who will be attracted to the opposite sex. My first love did not come at that age. Rather I started to have a crush with my classmate when I was 10yrs old. Its was termed as "puppy-love".

During that time, it was very normal to be involved in a Boy-Girl-Relationship (BGR) or we term it as "go-steady" or "kia-stead". It all started in my class 2F (Ahmad Ibrahim Secondary School). In my class, there is 3 beauties. JEN, ALLE and SK (name replaced for identity protection). These 3 are like sisters, always gathering together. Alle and SK is the more sociable type. Jen is more of the quiet and attentive type. One fine day, in a very casual setting, I was sitting from afar from these 3 girls who were chit-chatting. Suddenly, the sweetness of smile from Jen captured my attention and I was totally mesmerized by her. I knew.... she will be my target.

With a target set, I begin my research on her. I find all sorts of reasons to show up "purposely" for more exposure. I also make countless call to Alle to know more about her, the type of guys she like, etc... After all the initial survey, there was two major hurdles. Firstly, she would like someone taller than her and secondly, he must be a gentlemen (as in not bad-boy). I was exactly the same height as her standing at 160cm. How do I get taller? I went and search for a white canvas shoes that has thicker sole (which I eventually found and bought). This shoes gave me a good lift of 2cm. Well, it can be unnoticeable to her. So I decided to slot in 2 more soles to get 1cm more. So officially, I am 163cm now, one problem down. For the second hurdle, i cannot solve given my other involvement. I decided on using sincerity to win her heart.

Image taken from YUPPIES MANUFACTURING SDN BHD

With adequate survey and preparation, I decided to pluck out my courage to wait for her under her flat and send her to school as an expression of love. That morning, I prepare myself by ironing my uniform repeatedly, whitened my shoes and combed a "curry-puff" hair. Yeah... I still wear my father's perfume. I reached her house at around 11am. We were in the afternoon session and she should leave by 12noon.

Photos from http://www.ckphoto.net

I sat on the stone tables at the void deck facing the lift. I was starring at the lift. Every time when the doors opened, I hope to see her. After countless time of door opening, finally I SAW HER when the doors opened. My heartbeat stopped for a moment but it came back. Embarrassingly, I went up to her. When she saw me, she was a bit surprise and I think she felt "disgusted" too. I walked her to the bus-stop silently and took the bus together with her. In the bus, she took the last corner seat and I make my way and sat beside her shamelessly. I decided to start a conversation with her. The conversation was a one-way traffic, getting responses like nodding her head and winking of eyes, etc... Since I am already into this situation, I decided to pump in the golden question :"你今晚有空吗? 我想约你去Expo" She says "No, and please don't do this anymore. Don't make me hate you."

At that moment, I really hope to find a hole to squeeze in and hide. I was rejected upright, totally no face and yet I still got to see her in class. This was the end of my first courtship. It ended as a FAILURE.

Coming out next will be "My first truancy in school". Stay tuned!


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