Blog Pen Date : 24-Oct-2011
My Man,
Hola!
How far you’ve really gone ??? Sometimes I sit back and wonder...Everything is in constant state of motion since that day, 15-Aug-2006. Dad,it’s been 5 years, 2months & 9 days since your departure and this world and its ways have been evolving constantly albeit sometimes good sometimes bad.We even faced two economic recessions; actually just one, the second one has just started. Times are getting tough; people are losing jobs globally, climates changing rapidly around the world; holly & bolly “woods” have released a slew of decent movies, there have been terrorist attacks, nature has showered its disasters... in short things have been happening at frenetic pace and days have passed by.
However, somewhere in midst of all this, I have been standing still though there have been significant movements in my life. I have grown to be more rebellious too; Fighting changes / challenges that life’s been offering. Fighting the inevitable changes has been futile, hence I have made my share of mistakes and led myself to be unhappy for no reason. But then I have learnt a great deal and travelling on a path where I am learning to see things as they are.
Part reason for rebellion : as you always told me to be different than others; it sort of has stuck into my mind forever. It has become my way of life, dad. My URGE to stand out (even If I don’t at times) is what keeps me alive and ticking ALL THE TIME.
I’ve been lucky enough to get a lot of things on time (to take care of our family) after a fair amount of struggle. But, I am still holding on to this little dream of mine to be a CAR DESIGNER. I know you never wanted me to follow this line in my career; but let me tell you dad I have always experienced a lot of creative eccentricity and I know now it’s right time for me to create a balance between engineering and art. I will somehow DO IT and find my way. Even If I don't design CARS per se, I will make sure I design something.
Although, I haven't made much progress in this direction except my incessant hand sketching on my work books :P as last three years have been a wild ride of emotions where I am trying to balance my need to be FREE and the need to concentrate on what I have been offered in life as that’s what feeds us three times a day, 365 days a year. I’ve been fighting a war within myself every single day; but then you see I just can’t abandon the two females you Left for me to take care of as they are far too important than anything else. Hence, I haven’t really done much in line for achieving my dream.
“ Jab apni biwi aaye toh kehna usse ye sab; phir hum bhi dekhenge “ :D . English Translation : "it means mum / sis saying : When u get your wife then throw tantrums on her cooking etc and we'll see
Lately I have been more positive and feeling more confident, something I should have been working on for last 3 years; then again better late than never. I have started accepting things as they come with a smile on my face rather than placing too much of resistance in the path. It feels simpler, lighter and better.This change has been very recent; say like a month and a half and all of it is happening due to Birdie; a female friend of mine. Normally I never listen to anyone; but this time the fear of losing her who is very “unlike” others made me see things her way. There is some kind of spiritual force telling me to be more positive rather than wasting every moment - similar to what birdie said (something the 2 females of our house have also been trying for last 3 years).
That’s enough from my side I guess. Hopefully you’re doing great wherever you are. I am wondering how you’ll write me back; but then I know heaven is smart enough and has pretty innovative ways to respond. You can drop me mails in the inbox of my dreams ;) I will be sure to CATCH IT.
And yea....the day you left us; the same night when I was sleeping on the floor in my room , I knew it was you who gave me that bear hug from behind. Thanks paa, I really needed it.
Love.
Yours Naughty / Supposedly Creative / Overtly Emotional boy
Vishal
My Man,
Hola!
How far you’ve really gone ??? Sometimes I sit back and wonder...Everything is in constant state of motion since that day, 15-Aug-2006. Dad,it’s been 5 years, 2months & 9 days since your departure and this world and its ways have been evolving constantly albeit sometimes good sometimes bad.We even faced two economic recessions; actually just one, the second one has just started. Times are getting tough; people are losing jobs globally, climates changing rapidly around the world; holly & bolly “woods” have released a slew of decent movies, there have been terrorist attacks, nature has showered its disasters... in short things have been happening at frenetic pace and days have passed by.
However, somewhere in midst of all this, I have been standing still though there have been significant movements in my life. I have grown to be more rebellious too; Fighting changes / challenges that life’s been offering. Fighting the inevitable changes has been futile, hence I have made my share of mistakes and led myself to be unhappy for no reason. But then I have learnt a great deal and travelling on a path where I am learning to see things as they are.
Part reason for rebellion : as you always told me to be different than others; it sort of has stuck into my mind forever. It has become my way of life, dad. My URGE to stand out (even If I don’t at times) is what keeps me alive and ticking ALL THE TIME.
I’ve been lucky enough to get a lot of things on time (to take care of our family) after a fair amount of struggle. But, I am still holding on to this little dream of mine to be a CAR DESIGNER. I know you never wanted me to follow this line in my career; but let me tell you dad I have always experienced a lot of creative eccentricity and I know now it’s right time for me to create a balance between engineering and art. I will somehow DO IT and find my way. Even If I don't design CARS per se, I will make sure I design something.
Although, I haven't made much progress in this direction except my incessant hand sketching on my work books :P as last three years have been a wild ride of emotions where I am trying to balance my need to be FREE and the need to concentrate on what I have been offered in life as that’s what feeds us three times a day, 365 days a year. I’ve been fighting a war within myself every single day; but then you see I just can’t abandon the two females you Left for me to take care of as they are far too important than anything else. Hence, I haven’t really done much in line for achieving my dream.
“ Jab apni biwi aaye toh kehna usse ye sab; phir hum bhi dekhenge “ :D . English Translation : "it means mum / sis saying : When u get your wife then throw tantrums on her cooking etc and we'll see
who survives "
It’s all too funny and cute the way they get angry but I am just being a useful critic you see ;) .
It’s all too funny and cute the way they get angry but I am just being a useful critic you see ;) .
Lately I have been more positive and feeling more confident, something I should have been working on for last 3 years; then again better late than never. I have started accepting things as they come with a smile on my face rather than placing too much of resistance in the path. It feels simpler, lighter and better.This change has been very recent; say like a month and a half and all of it is happening due to Birdie; a female friend of mine. Normally I never listen to anyone; but this time the fear of losing her who is very “unlike” others made me see things her way. There is some kind of spiritual force telling me to be more positive rather than wasting every moment - similar to what birdie said (something the 2 females of our house have also been trying for last 3 years).
That’s enough from my side I guess. Hopefully you’re doing great wherever you are. I am wondering how you’ll write me back; but then I know heaven is smart enough and has pretty innovative ways to respond. You can drop me mails in the inbox of my dreams ;) I will be sure to CATCH IT.
And yea....the day you left us; the same night when I was sleeping on the floor in my room , I knew it was you who gave me that bear hug from behind. Thanks paa, I really needed it.
Love.
Yours Naughty / Supposedly Creative / Overtly Emotional boy
Vishal
