“We've begun to Raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” ― Gloria Steinem

This quote is definitely not one that you come across everywhere, but it makes me think. I think more because I’m the mother of a boy who is trying to raise him with a different set of ideas – ideas that do not conform to gender or any other stereotypes. However, more often than not, I find myself alone fighting ‘traditional’ notions that are heaped on him everyday by society.

For starters, he wears all colours including Pink. But few days back I was horrified to see him being teased by a grown up at the bus stop for wearing a pink T-shirt! “Why are you wearing pink?” he asked. “You’ll get teased in school. It’s a girl’s colour. You’re a boy so steer clear of reds and oranges and pinks.” And the person to laugh loudest as the ‘joke’ was a senior girl all of 10 years. Why do we as a society try to make boys aware of their so called ‘masculinity’ at such an early age?

We women want to have sensitive partners – men who understand us, can help with household chores, can change diapers and what not. How’s that to happen if we keep telling little boys that they should shun some feelings (cry), some jobs (helping around the house) and even some colours (pink)? As a society modern India is much more accepting of girls breaking stereotypes than of boys. A little girl playing with a truck is smart but a little boy playing with dolls is a sissy.

I’ve no idea how to deal with situations like this and I foresee many more to come. Will my boy be able to resist them or will he fall prey to age old ideas of machismo? I did not talk about this incident after he got home from school that day simply because I did not want to rub it in and he seemed pretty unaffected by the whole thing. Moreover, Mom saying anything about the episode – either good or bad – will put the idea in his head that there ought to be some logic behind colour selection. I think adults should be more responsible when talking to children because a simple statement of fact can become a belief system. As of now, I’m happy to allow my little one to choose his clothes when we go shopping (yes, that includes pink T-shits and yellow pants)!