I told myself that I would start to pay attention to my feelings more, so I started to listen to all of the noise that I'm making. I don't really want to talk about how I feel because I turned it off for so long. So I guess I'll try to put words to senses.

I don't know what it is about love or what not, but it always tries to bite me in the ass whenever I get close to it. I always want to try to make love amazing, but something always stops me, just like right now. I had to think about it for a little bit today, but I think I'm sort of afraid of love though. Well, not being in love, that is nice, but more like, letting love slip away from me.

Here is an example. Last year, I dated my ex for about three months. It was my second time dating them. I thought of the opportunity as a "great second chance" but instead, it ended and I felt like all of my old emotions came back to punch me in the face. I really wish that I had the chance to not get attached to my feelings so much, because it is starting to make me upset.

I'll have to write more later. It is getting late, and I'm drowsy from this hay fever medication.