On Tuesday the 27th, my son Dylan went into hospital for an operation to remove a hernia. And it was there that I went through my toughest experience as a mother so far.

His operation was at 1pm, and his last feed was at 5am, so it was a very long wait. I didn’t put him down once in those eight hours, I didn’t want him to cry because he was hungry.

When they finally came to take him into surgery they asked either Ian or I to come with, just until he fell Asleep. Ian told me I should go. Dylan and I had a 15 minute wait in the prep-room. The anaethetist came and spoke to me while I was there, she told me I will go with in the theatre and they will put a mask over his mouth and nose and he will Fall Asleep. She said that it be nicer for Dylan to fall asleep with someone he knew but for me it would not be very nice. I thought that I would be able to handle it.

I walked to the theatre with Dylan in my arms. When I was in the theatre they told me to sit down. They showed me the mask, Dylan was sucking his dummy so I asked if I should take it out, they said no. The mask was covering his nose for 3-5mins and he wasn’t falling asleep. The anaethetist finally took it out and put it over his mouth and nose. In about 20seconds his whole body went limp. Feeling his body like that almost killed me, it made me so sad. They took him from me and put him on the bed. The surgeon saw that I was upset so he walked me out and reassures me that everything was going to be ok. When he left I ran to where Ian and my mom were waiting. Ian put his arms around me and I cried my eyes out.