Last week was my 40th Birthday. I turned the big 4-0. I feel like a rebellious teenager, full of dreams and ideas, yet not quite old enough to be responsible for making all these grown-up decisions. How did I get to be 40 so quickly? I had the best time in my 30′s and I don’t mind being 40. The fine lines and wrinkles. All of it, I wear proudly. It’s been an awesome ride and I look forward to another 60 or so years of awesome, no matter how wrinkly I become.
I was in tears most of the day, as so much Love, birthday wishes and heartfelt words came pouring in by phone, e-mail and Facebook. I felt so loved! I have so much gratitude for the amazing family and friends that I have that embrace me and love me for who I am. I am so incredibly blessed! No matter what, I know where I stand with these incredible people that surround us. What did I do to deserve all the love and friendship? My heart smiles.
We had a really great meal at the Stone Brewing Company at Liberty Station in Point Loma, with Eric’s dad and step mom. It was a really great evening, with good company, tasty food, delicious brew and topped off with a yummy beer float. We needed a night away from home, as we have been doing construction at our house. A night out hit the spot nicely. (Thank you to Mimi and Papa for your generosity, as well as your time. Allie treasured the time spent with you.)
The day after my 40th, Eric and I had our 10th wedding anniversary. We are officially entering the period where we have known each longer than we haven’t. It’s amazing. We’ve known each other for nearly 20 years and I cannot believe what a blessed life we have had together—first as friends and now and forever, soul mates. I can honestly say that every year it gets better and better. This stuff about how marriage is hard work? I don’t buy it. We enjoy each other’s company. We are still best friends. We still laugh at each other’s jokes. I am still madly in love with this man. It’s all true though. It has been fabulous!
We got to see the movie premiere screening of Monster’s University before it came out in theaters. It was so super cute. The three of us managed to get to see it together, although the screening had very little space. We laughed so hard, we nearly cried. Seriously? One of the best movies of the year! So much fun! We needed the laugh and we certainly got it.
It’s been a long while since I posted a personal update and there are many reasons for that. One, has been that I have been in counseling for about 6 months, learning how to cope with my anxiety. There have been some things in my life that have happened that I have had difficulty with. Much anxiety has resulted from people, situations and circumstances that are completely out of my control.
One of my very favorite sayings/poems/prayers, especially lately, is the Serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.
Oh, the wisdom part. It’s so difficult for me. I want so badly to make things right. The fact is, there are some things and/or people I cannot change and that will never change. I need to continue being the best Laura I can be and stop trying to force something that will never be. One of the things I talked about with the counselor yesterday was that some things just cannot be fixed. It’s very difficult to accept that. I want everything to be happy-go-lucky, sunshine, rainbows and unicorn farts, but not everything is like that, even when you do everything right. At 40, I think I am finally understanding that. I’ve got a lot of learning left to do, but each day, I try harder and perhaps, that’s what it’s really all about. Focus on the good.
Life gets better day by day. How lucky am I? I am looking so very forward to the next decade and the many more to come!
