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Hey kids. The infamous Babel Fish of Douglas Adams fame is your friend! Use it HERE!
You know I wish mean and women were a bit more alike. The whole thing gets exhausting at times. Now I know why alot of girls hate computer games. Computer Games are the new football cliche. You know the one.... Guy on couch watching the game ignoring typical nagging wife? Yeah, only now it's video games.... Everquest specifically if you look to MacHall.
Why do we get stuck? It's liek that song I'm off the track and I'm not even sure how I got here. I see that happen to people and it's just unfathomable to me. I can see how things might stack up to that, but in my head it just seems too... dramatic like a bad TV movie you know.
I always have lived in this world of my own creation as i'm sure we all do at least to some extent. We're all the star of our show, all the cameras on us in our minds eye. My world has always been pretty Noir, well... "Life Darkly"... ahem... Noir but without too much of the "I'm gonna die", "Cry for Help" stuff. Never did work out for me to well, and besides thats common. Sometimes I thinkt he goth kids I know think they are unique, but the truth is much richer than that. It's what i call a "Sleeper" like in Import Tuner cars. Same concept. It's the one that looks completely normal. For that one there is no real outlet, and if there is you can bet it's probably pretty screwed up.
Anyway the point is that I love girls but we live in a world of maladjusted, dysfunctional, misaligned, and untreatable trauma, pain, & chemically imbalanced issues. Theres only so much a sugar pill can fix before you have to realize that the pill only works becaue you believed it did. Much like the "Skeleton Key", for those that havent seen it they use brick dust at doors to keep out enemies. A part of Hoodoo, but it only works ont hose that beleive in it. Well... I dont diagree some people need Lithium, are Bi-polar, Manic Depressive, etc. You know the ones I'm talking about. Well every girl I ever dated had issues, deep seated I cannot help and it will affect me issues. Relationships doomed before they began. I know notice that a good 90% of my friends are this way too. I meet new people, turns out they too are afflicted.
What are the odds? Is there a lesson to this post? I think if this is the way the world has to be, then I must find the only other not screwed up girl. Or if I am screwed up I better find the girl who's screw up compliments mine.
The Fighting Morons or Cliches Best Suited for Men
This is a story of Men. About Men and by Men. It is a true story based on true facts otherwise known as factual facts. This story, although true, stands as a good reminder and teaching tool as to the damaging affects of too much testosterone, alcohol, and bad male examples exemplified and handed down through out history.
It's New Years Morning 3:30 am and our Anti-Hero, we'll call him JA for obvious reasons, has been hitting on other girls all night as nonchalantly as he can. Being a moron and all... He hasnt hidden it at all. Now his own girlfriend, we'll call her Mrs. JA, who is also stark raving mad and a bit dense hasnt noticed despite her being right there. Well, she did notice and got pretty pissed but only for about 1 minute before she realized she was too drunk and stupid to remember any longer than that.
Now I am trying to help my friend Big Gay Al, BGA for short, find his keys which in his inebriation he has lost. Unknown by us JA has BGA's keys hidden in his pocket. So why we are out front looking for the keys, JA decides he better go hide them because well... He's stupid. Now another good friend, named Rooster has decided it's a good idea to tell JA that he's obviously drunk and shouldnt do what he's about to do because it's quite stupid. JA decides this is an attack on his honor, as if he has any, and attacks Rooster because he thinks somewhere in his head he is honorable or some such nonsense I'm sure. Rooster, taken quite by surprise, looks at this moment much like an over squeezed Hamster.
Enters stage left HeroBoy. Now HeroBoy loves the diplomatic, or as my mother called it "In Your Business", approach to everything and he thinks if he can just seperate them he can bring peace. So he manages to seperate them but finds himself the vicitm of an ass beating he cant get away from because his tie makes a handy ass beating handle.
Enter stage right ME. I hear breaking glass. I believe in Neutralization. Stupidity being what it is, it's best to simply hold your opponent until he calms down, or if he wont you cut his air until he goes to sleep. Short of carrying a tranqualizer gun I find this to be effective, and if executed correctly no one gets hurt and the situation is quickly... nuetralized. So I seperate them and I go for the first rule of Neutralization. So i tell HeroBoy, "GO HOME! I KNOW, I KNOW, GO HOME!" HeroBoy decides to comply and I managed to wrangle Rooster and we head for the front door.
At this point BGA has come in and has become Innocent Bystander, or Gawking pedestrian #4. Now HomeOwner wasnt here, he had a fight with SnatchTrap his griflriend earlier. This fight was the result of JA and his lecherous acitivities.
I have Rooster and HeroBoy at the front door when i hear loud stompingness, and turn around to find JA lumbering and swinging in a drunken godzilla march for the general populace by the front door. I push HeroBoy away and JA connects on Rooster. rooster decides he is in peril now and swings on JA. I grab Rooster as does HeroBoys girl, and Mrs. JA and HeroBoy grab JA. and we attempt to seperate. Well I have Rooster in a hold, because he is now beyond defense and has moved over to offense. And as Rooster gives up and starts moving to sit down JA makes a last desperate attempt to prove the size of his phallus by attacking Rooster when he isnt looking and has accepted peace. The entire congregation goes down and the end result is one onlooking girls leg being completely broken.
This entire time JA was screaming "I dont need drama, I can just sit and let the drama play out", and gems like "I dont cause drama", and "What is everyone attacking me for". He also performed crowd classics like " Let me go I'm not doing anything wrong", and the ever classic "BLANK I'll show you BLANK" insert your choice he said it like four times each time a different word was where blank is.
It was hilarious cause BGA came in after it all and said "Even I'm not that kind of gay"
TD
Hey kids. The infamous Babel Fish of Douglas Adams fame is your friend! Use it HERE!
You know I wish mean and women were a bit more alike. The whole thing gets exhausting at times. Now I know why alot of girls hate computer games. Computer Games are the new football cliche. You know the one.... Guy on couch watching the game ignoring typical nagging wife? Yeah, only now it's video games.... Everquest specifically if you look to MacHall.
Why do we get stuck? It's liek that song I'm off the track and I'm not even sure how I got here. I see that happen to people and it's just unfathomable to me. I can see how things might stack up to that, but in my head it just seems too... dramatic like a bad TV movie you know.
I always have lived in this world of my own creation as i'm sure we all do at least to some extent. We're all the star of our show, all the cameras on us in our minds eye. My world has always been pretty Noir, well... "Life Darkly"... ahem... Noir but without too much of the "I'm gonna die", "Cry for Help" stuff. Never did work out for me to well, and besides thats common. Sometimes I thinkt he goth kids I know think they are unique, but the truth is much richer than that. It's what i call a "Sleeper" like in Import Tuner cars. Same concept. It's the one that looks completely normal. For that one there is no real outlet, and if there is you can bet it's probably pretty screwed up.
Anyway the point is that I love girls but we live in a world of maladjusted, dysfunctional, misaligned, and untreatable trauma, pain, & chemically imbalanced issues. Theres only so much a sugar pill can fix before you have to realize that the pill only works becaue you believed it did. Much like the "Skeleton Key", for those that havent seen it they use brick dust at doors to keep out enemies. A part of Hoodoo, but it only works ont hose that beleive in it. Well... I dont diagree some people need Lithium, are Bi-polar, Manic Depressive, etc. You know the ones I'm talking about. Well every girl I ever dated had issues, deep seated I cannot help and it will affect me issues. Relationships doomed before they began. I know notice that a good 90% of my friends are this way too. I meet new people, turns out they too are afflicted.
What are the odds? Is there a lesson to this post? I think if this is the way the world has to be, then I must find the only other not screwed up girl. Or if I am screwed up I better find the girl who's screw up compliments mine.
The Fighting Morons or Cliches Best Suited for Men
This is a story of Men. About Men and by Men. It is a true story based on true facts otherwise known as factual facts. This story, although true, stands as a good reminder and teaching tool as to the damaging affects of too much testosterone, alcohol, and bad male examples exemplified and handed down through out history.
It's New Years Morning 3:30 am and our Anti-Hero, we'll call him JA for obvious reasons, has been hitting on other girls all night as nonchalantly as he can. Being a moron and all... He hasnt hidden it at all. Now his own girlfriend, we'll call her Mrs. JA, who is also stark raving mad and a bit dense hasnt noticed despite her being right there. Well, she did notice and got pretty pissed but only for about 1 minute before she realized she was too drunk and stupid to remember any longer than that.
Now I am trying to help my friend Big Gay Al, BGA for short, find his keys which in his inebriation he has lost. Unknown by us JA has BGA's keys hidden in his pocket. So why we are out front looking for the keys, JA decides he better go hide them because well... He's stupid. Now another good friend, named Rooster
Enters stage left HeroBoy. Now HeroBoy loves the diplomatic, or as my mother called it "In Your Business", approach to everything and he thinks if he can just seperate them he can bring peace. So he manages to seperate them but finds himself the vicitm of an ass beating he cant get away from because his tie makes a handy ass beating handle.
Enter stage right ME. I hear breaking glass. I believe in Neutralization. Stupidity being what it is, it's best to simply hold your opponent until he calms down, or if he wont you cut his air until he goes to sleep. Short of carrying a tranqualizer gun I find this to be effective, and if executed correctly no one gets hurt and the situation is quickly... nuetralized. So I seperate them and I go for the first rule of Neutralization. So i tell HeroBoy, "GO HOME! I KNOW, I KNOW, GO HOME!" HeroBoy decides to comply and I managed to wrangle Rooster and we head for the front door.
At this point BGA has come in and has become Innocent Bystander, or Gawking pedestrian #4. Now HomeOwner wasnt here, he had a fight with SnatchTrap his griflriend earlier. This fight was the result of JA and his lecherous acitivities.
I have Rooster and HeroBoy at the front door when i hear loud stompingness, and turn around to find JA lumbering and swinging in a drunken godzilla march for the general populace by the front door. I push HeroBoy away and JA connects on Rooster. rooster decides he is in peril now and swings on JA. I grab Rooster as does HeroBoys girl, and Mrs. JA and HeroBoy grab JA. and we attempt to seperate. Well I have Rooster in a hold, because he is now beyond defense and has moved over to offense. And as Rooster gives up and starts moving to sit down JA makes a last desperate attempt to prove the size of his phallus by attacking Rooster when he isnt looking and has accepted peace. The entire congregation goes down and the end result is one onlooking girls leg being completely broken.
This entire time JA was screaming "I dont need drama, I can just sit and let the drama play out", and gems like "I dont cause drama", and "What is everyone attacking me for". He also performed crowd classics like " Let me go I'm not doing anything wrong", and the ever classic "BLANK I'll show you BLANK" insert your choice he said it like four times each time a different word was where blank is.
It was hilarious cause BGA came in after it all and said "Even I'm not that kind of gay"
TD
