One of the first things I promised one of my mommy friends from London when we got settled in the States was that the kids would Sleep in their own beds. I don't know how this friend did it but she has two toddlers (her kids are the same age as my two) who go to sleep and for the most part stay asleep on their own in their own beds. My kids were co-sleeping with us by default in London for months. Z. refused to sleep in his own bed without one of us staying with him until he fell asleep (and still won't). Moving him into our bed started off as a coping mechanism for me to get the kids down to sleep together and then I just ended up going to sleep with them after a long days work.

Now that they are in the same room I have been trying to get the kids to go down to sleep in their own beds and then if they come to us (or in M's case call for us as he's still in his crib) at night or early in the morning it's fine. But now, thanks to our guest bedroom, instead of forcing them back into their bed if they both get up during the night one of us moves with the other kid in the extra bed. We need to be consistent, I know, I know but sleep also is essential to being a good parent at least it is for me. I can take a more creative approach to the tantrums and whines on a full nights sleep, redirect the energy instead of being taken into the vortex of toddler crazy which makes a much more pleasant day for everybody. 

But I almost also feel that Z. doesn't need a daytime nap anymore because although he'll be dead tired by bedtime without one he'll fall right to sleep at seven o'clock without a nap, otherwise I have to sit with him for an hour until he falls asleep. M. is getting better and better at going to sleep on his own, we used to have to rock him which is why I have the arms of a woman who does weight training but now he will go down in his crib and get himself into position to sleep while I sing them lullabies. 

For Z. to give up his daytime nap would also mean that one or the other parent who is taking care of the kids during the day has to give up that extra hour or two of me time during the day which the daytime nap allows. I have to believe that once Z. starts school it will get better. I also am a firm believer of going to bed but not necessarily sleeping if you don't feel it, its something which my childhood paediatrician suggested to my mother and I agree with it. I am not sure a three year old could take on that responsibility yet though. Of playing quietly or reading until he's ready to sleep. It would also involve giving him a little light to turn off when he's ready to sleep and I'm not prepared to give him one, I think maybe when he's 5 we can try that. 

In the meantime, bedtime routines work great for M. but M has always been a good sleeper. He also still uses a pacifier which somehow I feel like gives him a crutch (interestingly my friends kids both use pacifiers for sleep). Z. never took to the pacifier and I was really against them at the time. I've obviously come around although we are trying to take them slowly away from M. 

Overall I can't complain too much if getting to sleep is our big issue for the moment (I say this before the 3rd arrives, talk to me in few months) because although I'm always loathe to boast about other stages as everything changes so much with kids from week to week and I also am afraid of jinxing ourselves. BUT potty training for Z. has gone great, he hasn't really ever had any issues he just went for it. They are social creatures, they love playing with other kids and being around other people, Z. maybe is a bit more outgoing then M. but M. has definitely come out of his shell and is a big ham. They are physical, verbal, generous and loving kids and really don't have huge issues. Z. was having tantrums which are getting better and there was a bout of night terrors but I think both were connected to the move and now that we are more settled, the night terrors have stopped and the tantrums are getting fewer and fewer. We're also handling them better.

And with an Italian foodie father and a mother who had a healthy appetite the kids are really good eaters. Today S. made black rice and sautéed some of the vegetables we got at our farm share including zucchini and they loved it, they ate the whole plate. I couldn't believe it. When they eat like that, I don't sweat it if they sit out a meal because I trust how they approach food, they can be fussy of course somedays and one day they won't like something but the next day they will. Also Z. will try everything which is great. Our parents weren't fussed if we ate everything on our plate but we had to try everything which is what I try with my own kids. But then again food is a pretty big deal in our family. We try to eat every meal together and we love to cook, so the kids want to be involved. And it feels so good when they eat a nutritious meal you cooked for them. Almost as good as when they go to sleep on their own, right? I'll let you know when that happens...