At last a post!

Although I did say at the start that I wouldn’t be updating this blog daily, I was feeling a little bit guilty that I have been reading other peoples blogs for the last few days, rather than posting here. Then Phil (he of Mulled Whines fame) found an article suggesting that we should all be making 3 posts a day on 10 different blogs!

In an ideal world I would have more type to post, which got me thinking about what else this wombat would like to see in an ideal world…

1. Hardware stores should put up full length mirrors at the end of each aisle so that you can see just how masculine you look with your chosen power tool.


2. Everyone should have humorous names like they do in the Asterix Books.


3. Supermarkets would sell life size models of Kylie Minogue made out of strawberry jelly – complete with free spoon for immediate consumption.


4. House keys should have little legs so that when I can’t find them (a constant problem) I can call and they would come running.


5. Cinemas should have an ejector pack fitted to each seat that is automatically triggered if the occupant’s mobile phone rings. It should also be possible, on selection by any other five members of the audience, to trigger the ejection seat of an annoyingly noisy teenager.


6. Local Authorities should licence the maximum number of people who can jump on a bandwagon at any one time, in the same way as they do for buses and taxis.


7. Everyone should have their own theme tune which plays whenever they enter a room (mine would be an excerpt from Mozart’s Horn Concerto).


8. There should be a government agency to review all “Reality TV” programs and ban any that do not contain any form of “Reality” or that contain Z-list celebrities.


9. We would be able to purchase all those fantastic products from the Acme Corporation that Wile E. Coyote made use of in the Roadrunner cartoons (I could use the ACME Strait-Jacket Ejecting Bazooka almost every day!).


10. Every time Neil and Christine Hamilton open a bottle of champagne (or sparkling wine as they keep pleading poverty), the cork shoots into the others mouth and gets lodged there. At least it would keep their annoying faces off the TV.