We went out last night!

I so needed it. I have been hiding in my cubby hole for the last few weeks. I keep making plans to go out with our friends and relax for a while, but then I somehow freak out when it comes right up to the time and I end up staying home. Making excuses. Fighting the proverbial demons.

To be fair, a lot of my staying in lately has to do with been unbelievably, ridiculously, comically, stereotypically, crazy poor. Like POOR. I've been poor before so it's not a big shocker. But it still is kicking my ass. Yes, we are still comfortable in our home and have food to eat and heat to keep us warm and clothes to wear, but there are no more extras. All of the bills are paid on time and in full so that helps, but we are broke after that. Honestly, it gives us a chance to really evaluate what is important to us.

We get to spend much more time together. We make dinner. We get creative. We share rides and work as a team to keep the electricity and the gas and the food bills under control. We have figured out that we are happy without all the things. In fact, we are kind of not missing the things. But still, it's pretty stressful to be one of those paycheck to paycheck families. It's kind of exhausting.

And then there is the cost of being ill. I haven't even attempted to figure out how to pay for that yet. I'm not counting that as bills yet. I owe hospitals and pharmacies and psychiatrists and the rhuematologist (more to come on that one) and radiology and CT scans and X-rays and hospital meds and therapists... it goes on and on. Fortunately those places and Dr's are working with us to create a way to pay that is reasonable. I have a great team that works together and they want to provide the best care possible and allow the finances to be secondary. Plus this is all 5 minutes from where I live. If I believed in fate or some kind of master plan I would say that this is the reason I up and moved an hour away from the place I'd lived for 20 years. I'd say that everything that has happened in my life, even the really really shitty parts, forced me to change everything I knew about my life and about myself. That, in turn, helped me get to the Drs I needed to get to, who figured out things about my mental and physical health that otherwise would have gone un-noticed and all of it is literally 5 minutes away. Good play, universe. Good play.

All that to say, we went out last night! And I so needed it. We went to a birthday party for an awesomely cool lady and hung out with so many people we hadn't seen in a while. We got a chance to catch up and have fun. Sometimes all the expenses and stress and bills and busyness can be cured, just for a few hours, by laughs and drinks and friends and celebration.

And now I shall retire to my cubby hole for the day.

Later!