For years I’ve been wrestling with the Idea of disappearing from the internet, and when I finally decided to log in today, I noticed that the site was broken- which turned out to be both a relief and a terror. My hosting company was wonderful enough to get it fixed right away, but for a good five minutes or so, I thought it was hacked (finally) and thought it was a perfect reason to get rid of the blog. I mean, this site stopped generating profit a very long time ago, and I sadly must admit that I lost interest quite some time ago as well. You might hate me for saying this but I think I secretly thought that it lost its purpose after I somewhat achieved my goal of working in fashion using this as a platform (without me even realizing at the time). I didn’t know why I had lost interest at the time. I thought it was because fashion blog had become a thing of the past due to its becoming such an oversaturated “industry” in the past ten years or so, and has lost its appeal in many ways. Also, having had social media as a job for a few years, I just kind of don’t like the stuff anymore. haha. More than often I’ve wanted to disappear from the internet and regretted being so public with my private information through multiple channels. I started this blog as a way to get away from my daily life back in 2009 and started my Youtube channel not long after. I wish I was able to keep it as a hobby sometimes, although I am infinitely thankful for all the opportunities it’s given me and all the people I’ve met. I can’t believe what began as a secret hobby of mine took me to Seoul, Japan, Spain, and New York, and allowed me to live a life I had only dreamed of. As I start seriously playing with the idea of closing this site, I find myself hesitating once again… I don’t know if there’s anyone reading anymore, and am not even sure what I’d even write about if I were to come back here. I think I’m both afraid and unsure… I’ve become indecisive over the past couple years; I find myself having to verify even my own very thoughts and decisions multiple times… but once I know, I know for sure- which is an improvement. This whole idea of keeping a public diary is still a bit uncomfortable to me, but then maybe this is how I’ll get my old self back. Maybe this is how I move on after all…?

© 2021, Tomi. All rights reserved.