My friends, go mark your calendars: My farewell tour starts next week.

I’m not going anywhere. That's obvious by the fact that after all the years and all the awards won writing this junk that I’m now making less money than I was when I started this venture. (I have a degree in journalism, people, not personal finance.) Instead, I am embarking on a year-long goodbye to my Youth because, about this time next year, I turn 50.