So consistently inconsistent
So I sit here in May typing this when I dusted the proverbial dust off this thang in July of 2016 lol but life happens. I had my Saturn return last year from February to November of last year and all I can say is I wasn't reeeaddyy!!!
Seriously I wasn't I thought my life was damn near perfect had a 5mo old miracle baby, Husband, 3 other beautiful kids life was good baby. Nobody told me, I had no idea what a Saturn return was. Ok?!?! It came on slow but by the end of April shit started hitting the fan. Big time. This has so many layers that I may have to do a youtube vid on it.
The simplest definition I can give on what a Saturn return is: Its when saturn return to the place in the cosmos as the time you were born in this earthly realm. Takes about 29 years But ultimately it is a time where you start to realize this thing called life doesn't go backwards it keeps moving forward no matter what. Usually when people think its time to stop kidding around and be an adult. Everything you hold near and dear or thought you ever knew is going to be tested.
I've always been into astrology and witchy things. I was the kid printing out everyone's horoscopes and passing the pages around at lunch and recess Idk call me weird but I did. lol Then my mom took me to what I would call a botanica but you actually get better results if you put occult in the search bar. I was like 8. This was my 1st book from there. I was a kid though so there was no bad connotations attached which is crazy (but Ill talk about that another time) in comparison to how my thoughts on it grew and changed over the years but lets face it thoughts are nothing but silent prayers.
So Ive always been up on things like that but then there was boys and I pretty much left that path alone. Fast forward 20yrs later lol why did I add weed to the mix 😃 yes For 4/20 me and the hubby went to Denver I had fun we went to the Snoop Concert which was bomb might I add. But it was our 1st time on a plane together as a couple. A couple who just had almost 4 kids in 4yrs but we did successfully have 3. which is taxing enough so that was the dream couples trip to me at the time. But after the concert it went left. And it got worse even after we returned home. It was supposed to be like a Bonnie and Clyde type of thing we told our family we were going to Vegas lmao but I deal with a lot of suppression and judgement from family and others. So it was our little secret. I thought my and the hubby were clear on that but there was a break in communication.I wanted to completely enjoy the moment no cameras no evidence idk maybe my husband wasn't use to the stealth me but i was totally present but it was between me and him I don't think he got the memo.
But I didn't completely understand that I was awakening to my true self right before my husband's eyes and he probably got comfortable with me being barefoot and pregnant I literally was for 4yrs 2011-2015. And that's another thing I met him at 17 and we had our 1st born when I was 18 so I never really seriously thought about myself and marriage. But I always knew that the traditional domestic "woman" roles weren't for me. I pretty much learned on the job as far as marriage is concerned but we all do there are no rules. But you do need understanding to make a relationship work. From the start being a stay at home "kept" woman I did not feel good to me. I had ambitions and goals before I met my husband and I fought hard to hold on to them. But you wind up having conflicts because they want you to cook clean and take care of them mentally and physically. Which is never ending task. I feel like that is a trap but i think i'll have the marriage talk later too. Also before I forget if you like my posts here more than likely there will be a video to coincide with them on youtube. I totally felt chained like no more identity for me after getting married even though it was parts i loved about it. For me all I could think about was making it through 2016 without gestating. Getting my sexy back lol
The simplest definition I can give on what a Saturn return is: Its when saturn return to the place in the cosmos as the time you were born in this earthly realm. Takes about 29 years But ultimately it is a time where you start to realize this thing called life doesn't go backwards it keeps moving forward no matter what. Usually when people think its time to stop kidding around and be an adult. Everything you hold near and dear or thought you ever knew is going to be tested.
I've always been into astrology and witchy things. I was the kid printing out everyone's horoscopes and passing the pages around at lunch and recess Idk call me weird but I did. lol Then my mom took me to what I would call a botanica but you actually get better results if you put occult in the search bar. I was like 8. This was my 1st book from there. I was a kid though so there was no bad connotations attached which is crazy (but Ill talk about that another time) in comparison to how my thoughts on it grew and changed over the years but lets face it thoughts are nothing but silent prayers.
So Ive always been up on things like that but then there was boys and I pretty much left that path alone. Fast forward 20yrs later lol why did I add weed to the mix 😃 yes For 4/20 me and the hubby went to Denver I had fun we went to the Snoop Concert which was bomb might I add. But it was our 1st time on a plane together as a couple. A couple who just had almost 4 kids in 4yrs but we did successfully have 3. which is taxing enough so that was the dream couples trip to me at the time. But after the concert it went left. And it got worse even after we returned home. It was supposed to be like a Bonnie and Clyde type of thing we told our family we were going to Vegas lmao but I deal with a lot of suppression and judgement from family and others. So it was our little secret. I thought my and the hubby were clear on that but there was a break in communication.I wanted to completely enjoy the moment no cameras no evidence idk maybe my husband wasn't use to the stealth me but i was totally present but it was between me and him I don't think he got the memo.
But I didn't completely understand that I was awakening to my true self right before my husband's eyes and he probably got comfortable with me being barefoot and pregnant I literally was for 4yrs 2011-2015. And that's another thing I met him at 17 and we had our 1st born when I was 18 so I never really seriously thought about myself and marriage. But I always knew that the traditional domestic "woman" roles weren't for me. I pretty much learned on the job as far as marriage is concerned but we all do there are no rules. But you do need understanding to make a relationship work. From the start being a stay at home "kept" woman I did not feel good to me. I had ambitions and goals before I met my husband and I fought hard to hold on to them. But you wind up having conflicts because they want you to cook clean and take care of them mentally and physically. Which is never ending task. I feel like that is a trap but i think i'll have the marriage talk later too. Also before I forget if you like my posts here more than likely there will be a video to coincide with them on youtube. I totally felt chained like no more identity for me after getting married even though it was parts i loved about it. For me all I could think about was making it through 2016 without gestating. Getting my sexy back lol
I had to come to grips with the fact that my child bearing years were over at 28. Because my fourth child came 5wks early and she came bursting through my uterus literally because I ruptured so its frowned upon for me to get pregnant again. (i'll do birth stories later :) It wasn't hard to accept the fact that I wasn't going to be having anymore kids because after we lost the baby in 2014 I was done but God said
because 6mos after my D&C I was pregnant again. I just wanted to feel how I think a 28yr old woman should feel. You know old enough to know better young enough to not give fuck. lol Not in a reckless way I know I'm a mom but my husband says he thought I was having a mid life crisis but he was sadly mistaken I was doing regular woman shit like my makeup everyday dressing cute feeling good about myself. Why tha fuck not?!/!?! why shouldn't I feel good and take care of myself.At this point that is water under the bridge but I will say that 2016 I definitely experienced hardships when it came to my relationship and home life. But as Disney like to say keep moving forward
I believe I have made the right decision to end my marriage. It was too many issues on his end that we could not reconcile which is unfortunate because we have 4 kids also because i'm a Libra and we love to work things out so that was a 13year chapter in my life that's coming to a close.
Back to why this is called so consistently inconsistent I looked at my analytics on Pinterest to see I was having lots of traffic to my page and i didn't even know and so busy with my life falling a part so to speak. That I had no clue that this thing was working on my behalf while i wasn't paying attention. Im like dang being consistently inconsistent is my theme days but as a mom with 3 small children its hard to keep focus its always something going on. So im vowing to put more content try to be as consistent as I can from here on out.
Wat you can expect posts on everything under the sun from mommy topics, kid inspired topics, recipes, shopping (my personal favorite lol) just life in general fro my perspective hoping you willing to put up wit me for a while lol
