If I had one wish..

It would be to slap fire outta myself every-time I had the silly thought,

“I can’t wait till I’m grown”

Like really, think about how many times you’ve said that or a variation of that while you were growing up

Don’t get me wrong, there are perks of being an Adult but if I’m honest the experience as a whole is trash.

I believe a little preparation would’ve done me some Justice.

In high School, instead of useless classes like Math A or Trigonometry, we should’ve taken classes like

Introduction to Bills come EVERY month

Which is a prerequisite to

What Bills Can be Paid Late and How Late is Late

Business 100: How to File Taxes Properly I

Business 101: Why do they take SO MUCH taxes out during the year and have the audacity to give me an itty bitty refund check, that I have to wait FOREVER to get.

Theory 101: Credit Cards are the Devils Plastic.

Sociology of Interest RATES and HIDDEN fees

Psychology of Security AND First Months Rent

Language 201: As Per My Last Email… How to Throw Shade Professionally

Economics 310: Overdraft fees. How Can They be Avoided and Finessed Properly

Courses that are beneficial to becoming an adult. Things we end up learning when its too late.

You know what!  I blame other adults!!!!

I grew up watching the adults around me and thought it would be as easy as they made it look. They had whole families at the age of 19 and 20, paying rent and working regular degular jobs. Yet and still, I felt like they were always smiling and having time to be on somebody all white boat ride.

* West Indian Parents LOVE an all white anything lmao*

I wish someone would’ve told me then that the game was rigged.

or even a simple

“I have no clue what I’m doing. I am just winging it, so don’t copy me, just learn from me”

Now THAT’s some honesty that could’ve done me justice.

Instead, I grew up with this notion that if I  went to school and studied really hard, and then got a job and worked really really hard, I would find nirvana.

on the contrary I just found more debt, more responsibilities and more resentment.

I felt this the most when I graduated undergrad with the thought that I was about to step into the world with a piece of paper, make 6 figures and own my own condo at the age of 21.

Once reality set in and I realized that the dream was sold separately, I immediately felt like I was Mitch and the System was Rico.

NO RIBS..NO RICE.. NO CHAMPAGNE.. OTIVIA YOU GETS NOTHING B! 

Truth be told, all the adults in my life owe me a round. I feel like I want to square up because I was bamboozled, hoodwinked, lead astray!

OR

I guess I could just take these L’s as lessons and perhaps pass on what I know to the generations that are coming after me.

Perhaps this will allow me the wisdom to make smarter choices in my future and help someone in need along the way.

It might also allow me to understand that life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon, so I need to relax myself and enjoy it. The ups, the downs, the lessons and experiences.

Looking at my 20’s or what’s left of them, forces me to take into account that God willing I still have a long way to go. 

I haven’t made it to children, mortgage payments  or day care cost yet, which I heard is a whole next level of beast!!

So maybe i’ll count my small blessings and take it one grace period loan extension at a time.

You’ve been an amazing crowd. Get home safely,

-Otivia