There has been something that has been weighing on my soul. Ok not really, it is just something has has come up about 4 different times this week and I felt like it was for a reason so here I am.

Riddle me this           

Where do we Draw the line between…

“Keeping it a buck” & Plain ole just “Being an Ahole/ Jerk”.

“Being friendly” & “Being a whole flirt”

“Living life to the fullest” & “Being reckless”

“Keeping it real” & “Being a Petty Betty”

“Asking for help” & “Being Selfish/Needy”

I can’t be the only person who has heard these phrases being mis-used and abused by individuals and them ACTUALLY believing they are doing something good.

And if you are new to this blog be clear that I am not judging. I have no room for judgment because at some point I was in one or more of these categories. I do believe there needs to be some type of responsibility taken or at least a clear understanding of phrases to move forward.

Come on I know y’all see it all the time. The dude that does the most, says what ever he wants, hurts whoever feelings and then says ” I’m just trying to keep it a buck with you”. Nah bruh, you are just an Ahole in denial & you have deeper issues that you need to reevaluate within yourself. The girl that you see in EVERYBODY’S face claiming that she is friendly and cool but once she gets ignored you can tell what her motive really was. The friend that feels a sense of entitlement to being helped no matter what it costs the people around them and doesn’t know the word reciprocation. I can literally go on and on with examples but I’m sure you can think of a few on your own.

This isn’t a character bashing blog, it’s more of a, be real and honest with yourself type of thing . I believe there is no shame in YOUR TRUTH. Listen even B Rabbit had to wait Alllllllllllllllllllll the way to the end of the movie to realize people can’t use YOUR Truth against you once you own it.

If you are a mean person just be that BUT please allow for others to make the decision to be around you or not. If you are a flirt and you like the attention just own it but please don’t cry victim or give the NBA foul face when you get called out. 

So again, where do we draw the line? I was told you can only draw a line by being honest with people because if not the behavior will just be…lets say it together

“Positively reinforced”

During one of our ever so serious but hilarious talks about life my good up friend so eloquently answered my question with the most powerful 16 word sentence ever. So powerful, that in the midst of our ever so serious but hilarious talk I took out my iPhone 8 (peep the upgrade) went to my notepad and wrote her quote and let her know that it was nothing short of genius.

My good up friend said and I quote

“Individuals like for people to lie to them so they can be Comfortable in their dysfunction”

How real can you get!!!!!

What I won’t do is make anyone comfortable in their dysfunction and I would hope no-one around me let’s me stay comfortable in mine. Call people out, not all confrontation is bad sometimes it’s needed.  The difference is where your heart is when these conversations are happening . Maybe wait until there isn’t a room full of people or maybe when you’re not drunk or high or off some other influences. I believe what separates and ahole from the 10%  is being genuine. You are speaking your piece to better someone not to tear them down .

I’ve already started calling people out trying to be their 10% and just as I thought no-one wants this smoke ..

People generally don’t like confrontation so you will be met with lots of LOL’s and excuses for their behavior. So far I have yet to come across someone who has replied

For the sake of my own shortcomings (little to no patience & extreme stubbornness ) I’ve been putting extra effort into expressing myself to people. Usually at the first sign of resistance I fall back but lately I’ve been trying a little harder. Only because last year I’m sure I was difficult to deal with, shoot I may still be difficult to deal with, but I really have a strong 10% who doesn’t give up on me so I want to be that for others. I’m trying to live differently. I’m trying to think differently. I’m trying to love differently.

Albert Einstein once said

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.”

I’m over with being insane. I’ve decided to switch it up but that doesn’t mean everyone is on that wave right now, and just like it took me time to get here I’m fine with allowing others their time too. What I will never be fine with is someone who is SO comfortable with their dysfunction that they condemn me for not going along with it, even when it hurts me in the process. 

I said all that to say this, draw your own lines, call your friends/family out because if you don’t someone else will and it will not be with the grace and love that you would have used.  On the flip side, know when your words are not being met with acceptance and fall back. People will change when they want to and at their own pace. If they aren’t ready guess what, you can make your own choice to give them space and let them figure it out OR you can join that dysfunction train and continue the cycle. As for me personally I don’t even take public transportation so you already my stance.

You’ve been an amazing crowd! Get home safely

-Otivia