Yo boy! Sooooo like.. I quit my job! Well kinda sorta, I actually gave my two-week resignation notice on Friday December 15th 2017, terminating my employment, effective DECEMBER 29th 2017. Just in time for this lil brown overly dramatic young woman in her late 20’s to take over 2018 in the most epic way imaginable as an Entrepreneur, owing and running her OWN BUSINESS.

The day I announced my resignation was so embarrassing. I never saw so many confused caucasians in one room before. Okay so boom! I walked into my jobs headquarters nervous as hell. Thank the lord I put on a extra few swipes of deodorant that morning, because I would’ve been screwed by how bad I was sweating. I just needed to find a bathroom “handle” this nervous energy & practice what I was about to say another 117 more times.

Okay finally it’s 1:25 pm, meaning I had 5 minutes to get from the bathroom to the conference room and be on time for my Meeting. Not just any ordinary meeting , but the meeting where I’ll be resigning and leaving a $55/hr job that I’m awesome at, for something so unknown.

“F*&! IT”! I thought . My dad always tells me, “Faith is the opposite of fear. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen”.

Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real, and that’s what I kept repeating to my self as I walked to the conference room . I looked down at my Apple Watch and right behind the 1:29 pm display was a picture of my twin sister . Then it happened, right in the hallway with my colleagues walking around attending to their daily activities, I closed my eyes and involuntarily prayed.

“Yo my guy, I know we haven’t seen eye to eye for a good while now, but listen there is no beef. You took my heart from me 28 years ago but in exchange gave me a guardian angel forever. I accept my fate no matter the sacrifices”.

I opened my eyes.

1:30 pm.

I promise y’all I had a whole speech, like I literally had it written down on a piece of paper IN FRONT OF ME! But I don’t know what happened to my common sense, I started a whole monologue .

“They say this is a big, rich town. I just come from the poorest part. Bright lights, city life, I gotta make it, This is where it goes down. I just happen to come up hard . Legal or illegal, baby, I gotta make it”.

Yooo! I had a whole routine. Like why the hell, did I end with my hands in the air, full spirit fingers . The Caucasian faces that looked back at me, were of straight confusion and shock. I never felt so embarrassed in my life. Well I’m lying, one time my sister took me to Wendy’s and I had to use the bathroom so badly. We were literally ordering the food and I said “Nick I can’t hold it”. Her mean ass goes ” just wait damn, we’re about ” . Before she could finish her sentence, my left leg was progressively getting warmed up by the hot pee that escaped from my full bladder. Social embarrassment at its finest. But back to my resignation day.

The Clinical Supervisor, the lead teacher on my case and myself just stood there . Everybody staring at each other but none is speaking. At that moment I knew I’d went to far , “play play makes nay nay” ( Guyanese proverb lol ). The clinical supervisor then takes off her Chanel reading glasses stands directly in front of me and goes,

“I never took a straight path nowhere, life’s full of twist and turns. Bumps and bruises, I lived, I learned. I’m from that city full of yellow cabs and skyscrapers. It’s hard to get a start in these parts without paper”.

Now everyone in the room is standing on chairs, with lighters in the air rapping the theme song to Power. Can you believe that!

Okay okay geeeze! You weren’t there so you don’t know what happened. MAYBE that did happen or MAYBE I wrote a humble 5 paragraph email to my Supervisors and Human Resources gracefully bowing out of this era of my journey with the company, due to things I legally cannot divulge in this public forum. Knowing that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, even if I had to endure some uncomfortable moments and heartache, I can still recognize that something is not for me and my priorities have been made clear.

If you take anything away from knowing me, I hope its that I define myself not as an individual but as a Twinless Twin, AND my name Otivia Headley-Cook means everything to me. My name is all I have that’s mine. My professionalism, my personal character and word is all that I have. When I was younger I was a whole liar. Like I lied about dumb things, small things, insignificant things. That was until I was caught in a lie and the person that caught me didn’t even get angry.

She simply said and I remember it word for word

” You have to be a good person, you have to always think about your character when you do anything. You want people to be able to vouch for you. If you lie all the time how do you expect me to believe anything you say. That means if a stranger tells me you did something, I’m going to be more inclined to believe them over you. You should want it to be in such a way that if someone says something on YOUR name the other person would shut them down or laugh it off. Like “oh please Otivia would never, you have your facts wrong”. Be THAT kind of person NOT the person I see you becoming”

I did not even respond. That’s how much I GOT what they were telling me. I didn’t have to verbally respond because 20 years later I have never dropped the ball. I may not be some people’s favorite person but I honestly don’t think anyone hates me. And if I’m mistaken, please feel free to let me know if I’ve dropped that ball so I can rectify the situation, rather than get old with one tooth and one good eye, telling your bedmate Mrs Nancy bout ” that b!@# Otivia” that you hated so much back in  2017. But yea. As you can see I take pride in my name so when I see myself going left and somehow being in a situation where any of those 3 things I mentioned earlier can be tarnished or questioned I leave that situation, walking right into my purpose head on!

My take away from this and my advice for anyone who is considering making that leap of faith to quit their 9-5, it’s hard, it’s difficult, it’s scarey, but during most of your greatest moments those feelings were present. My husband is my rock reassuring me every time he sees me second guessing . He’s my hype-man, #1 fan and biggest supporter and he says I WONT fail, actually he said ” Honey Bunny you are always going to be okay because it’s not in your nature to fail”. How can I not be confident when he’s gassing me all the way up .

I have so many ideas and things I want to accomplish. I’m a firm believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Me leaving my job is scary because I’ve built relationships and learned so much, but the decision was made for me, a long time before today. My fate is a script that’s already been written and now I’m just acting it out. Only on chapter 28 and I’m ready for my next chapters, ready to start tackling it all and really secure that bag while doing what I’m passionate about .

Prayer + Practice = Results

Photo Below: 28th birthday:28th chapter

You’ve been an amazing crowd! Get home safely

-Otivia