It's All About the Dog

It's All About the Dog

There comes a point in every family, especially if you have young kids, that they ask you about owning a pet. In my case, the kids want a dog. Although I wasn't completely impressed, they eventually wore me down. We started with the fish, then the hamster, then eventually the dog. Well, not just a dog, but a puppy. A nice small, rowdy, energetic, teething puppy! Sure. The puppy is really cute to look at and it liked to sleep with the kids, but it's still a puppy! Which meant torn clothes, gnawed furniture and ... more s$%t that you could ever imagine.

I remember distinctly as the kids tried to win me over and get them a family pet.

"You know Dad," started my daughter, "A puppy would teach us responsibility."

I respond, "Yeah. So does actually taking responsibility for items in your life. Like cleaning your rooms. I don't even remember the year that I actually saw the floor in your room."

My son said, "Funny Dad!"

I look at my son and say, "What are you talking about? Your room is twice as bad. I don't even know why we bought you a dresser if you keep your clothes on the floor."

"Dad", my daughter is trying to change the subject, and says, "I think that we are old enough to have a puppy."

"Ok.", I respond, "Let's see your track record on the other pets."

"Dad!", my daughter yells.

She said that because she knows what the track record is.

I asked, "Remember the fish?"

My daughter blurted out, "No one liked that fish!"

"It was a start pet. You were supposed to take care of it so, one day, you can get a bigger pet!"

My son said, "We took care of Lester!"

I turn to my son, "Lester was your imaginary pet! That doesn't count!"

My daughter tries to drive another point about pet ownership by saying, "If we have a pet, we are less on the computer and tablets?"

"Are you crazy, "I respond, "You will be on the computer more as you buy outfits for the dog Amazon, chat with your friends over Facebook, and join some pet groups to look at pet pictures on Pintrest!"

Knowing that this battle was over, they took off to their rooms. But, the war was just beginning. I know my kids! They will continue to berate me with pearls of pet wisdom until I eventually cave in. I've been down this road before. When they asked for the fish, they fed it for the first couple of days, it became my responsibility. The fish lived for another five years, then it dies! Then came the gerbil. They played with it for six months, then I wound up taking care of the smelly beast. It lived for two years, then it died.

Although, I did feel in the back of my heart that one day we would have a dog. A dog to get my slippers at the end of a long day. A dog to get the newspaper and bring it into the house on rainy days. A companion who would go on long walks with me. Really, who is walking who? Is it me who is walking the dog or is it the dog, who is getting me out of the easy reclining chair in the living room and taking me away from the TV? Who am I kidding, the dog would simply eat the slippers and I would get hole ridden slippers, which is not enjoyable at the end of a day of work.

Later that evening, my wife and I are about to go to bed. I start the pet conversation with her just so they do not do an "end run" around me tomorrow and get a dog while I am at work. I explain to her my reasons for not getting a dog right now. She nodded her head and said, "Don't worry." then all of us went to sleep.

The next evening when I came home, my family was gathered in the living room.

I ask, "How was everyone today?"

Then I heard it, "Yap! Yap! Yap!". A tiny, brindle-coated, beagle and hound mix was in a little bed, suspended from my son's hands.

I look at my wife and say, "Really? I thought we talked about this?"

My wife smiles and replies, "We did. But, when I saw how cute this puppy was in the adoption window, the kids were so excited about it,  I wanted to bring it home."

"Is that the only reason?"

"No. Because when I am in my late nineties, I actually want the kids to visit me in the retirement home someday. They'll remember me as the parent that gave them the puppy."

I ask, "What about me?"

My wife replies, "They'll remember you as the Dad that gave them countless reasons not to get the puppy. That's why they are going to visit me in the retirement home."

"So," I say, "Do we have a name for the dog yet?"

"We were just talking about that!" my daughter says.

Much like the dog from the Steve Martin movie, "The Jerk", I very much wanted to name the dog, "S#$thead". It seemed to fit. Every time I turned around, the dog was taking a s#$t. Maybe because the dog was so young, maybe because the kids who promised me that they would dedicate their time in training and raising this animal sat in their rooms as I was cleaning up a pile of s$%t.

Maybe actually seeing the dog will get them to learn responsibility like my daughter said earlier. Ha! Who am I kidding? This is my dog now!

Until next time! Thank you for reading the blog!  If you have any questions, please let me know.


Note: The family that I use in this blog are not related to my actual family. But, don't tell my actual family as they will let you know that they do not read the blog!