Things that Go Bump in the Night

Things that Go Bump in the Night

Note: The children that I talk about in this blog are merely here to move the story forward and have absolutely no relation to my real kids, who are at this moment reading this note and think ... why are you writing about fictional kids when you have so much material from your own kids?

It's been a long couple of days at the Stockton house. Now that it is the end of the week, it is time to relax, unwind, and try to enjoy life (until the next week begins). Everyone in the house turns in early as all of us are just dog tired. My wife and I are trying to get some sleep. But I am restless. So, I decide to head downstairs to watch some TV. I get out of bed, go through the door, and walk down the hallway.

So, for about an hour, I hang out on the living room couch, watching some old TV show. Just when I was about to slip into a dream: I hear a sound from the upstairs.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

It wasn't too loud, but it was loud enough to wake me up. I try to think that it's not an issue and I should go back to bed. So, I try to get some sleep.

As my eyes closed and about to get back to dreamland, I hear... THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Well, that's it! I head upstairs trying to find out what this noise is. I get to the top of the stairs and slowly walk in the hallway. No sound. I wait for a minute and looks at the bottom of the doors. From my son's room, I see the light.

Then, the noise ... THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

I grab the door handle to my Son's room and throw it open.

My son's head pokes out from underneath the blanket.
I throw the lights on and ask, "What the heck are you doing!"

My son looks around the room and pulls out a tablet from the covers.

He says, "I just wanted to play 'Dunmbasses and Idiots' for a few more hours !!!!!"

Looking around the room, with my son's hands in the air, as he just didn't care, I hear the noise again ... THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

This time, I think it is coming from my daughter's room!

I close my son's door, turn a perfect 180 degrees, and open my daughter's door!

The lights are out, and she is snoring.

Mmmmm...Then I hear the noise again ... THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

The sound is coming from my room!

I close my daughter's door and run to my room, open the door, and sure enough right outside is a ladder with a guy knocking on the window. I grab the baseball bat near the entrance to the bedroom and flip on the light. The guy on the ladder yells out, "OH  ."

I yell out, "Stay the heck out of --"

My daughter runs into my room and says, "Dad! Don't hit him!"

She is fully dressed, and she is ready to go out on the town.

From outside of the window, I hear, "OH " and the ladder leaves the house, and the guy crashes on the ground!

From around the cul-de-sac, houses flip on their lights to figure out what happened.

Luckily, this guy fell on the ground before the ladder hits, so he is OK, and takes off down the street, leaving the ladder behind.

My wife wakes up, "What's all of the noise!"

I reply, "It looks like our daughter was waiting for her Prince Charming to come up to her room and they were going out together on the town."

My daughter says, "Dad!"

My wife gets out of bed, points to my dauighter and replies, "You're grounded!"

My daughter walks to her room and slams the door. That doesn't matter since all of us are awake anyway.

My wife and I go down the stairs and outside. For a few minutes, we talk to the neighbors, and I explain what happened. I take the ladder and put it in the garage. After about ten minutes, everything is back to normal, lights start turning off, and my wife an I go back inside. By that time, I was ready to go to sleep. SO, my wife and I go inside, lock the front door, and head to the bedroom.

The next day came way too soon. Around ten, the family was up. I was making pancakes, and the kids were devouring them. There was a ring of the doorbell, and I leave my cooking station to check ou it.

I open the door and the guy from last night is standing there.

I say, "Can I help you with something?"

Doug asks, "Yeah, I was wondering if I can get my ladder back?"

I reply, "Your ladder?"

Doug asks, "Yeah, I think I left it in your yard."

I stick my neck outside of the door and say, "I don't see a ladder out there. You must have the wrong house."

My daughter calls out, "Hey Doug! I'll be there in a second."

I look at Doug, "What's your phone number?

Doug replies, "555-1234."

I say "Thanks!"

Then I slam the door so hard that the hinges would fall off and lock it.

My daughter comes up to the front door from the kitchen, "Why can't I talk to Doug?

I look at my daughter and say, "Do you think I am stupid? The guy came to my house in the middle of the night trying to carry you away. You're grounded. Oh, Can I borrow your phone for a second?"

My daughter replies, "Borrow?"

You're grounded so you won't need it anyway.

My daughter is pissed and goes to her room ... slamming the door again. Doesn't matter too much since the rest of the family is in the kitchen devouring pancaked and maple syrup.

I take my daughter's phone, unlock it, then find Doug's number, and I block it!

There is a knock at the door and I ope nit, It's Doug! surprised? I'm not!

Doug asks, "Excuse me, sir?

I reply, "Yeah."

Doug says, "I went to a few of the other houses here and they don't have my ladder."

I look around and ask, "So you think I do have the ladder?"

Doug replies, "Yes. Sir."

I smile and ask, "So, you think I am going to give it back?"

Doug replies, "Yes. Sir."

I ask, "Why?"

Doug states, "If you don't, I'll tell my parents."

I reply, "So, I'll explain to your parents why I have their ladder. Give me their phone number and I would be happy to give them a call!"

Doug knew he was beaten, did a one-eighty, and walked off of my front stoop.

My wife walks up from the kitchen and says, "Boy trouble?

I smile and reply, "Nope. Also, it looks like I do not have to go to the home improvement store because I go a new twenty-foot ladder."

I close the door and go back to making pancakes. Afterall, it is a wonderful Saturday moring.

Thank you for reading this episode of the blog! If you have any questions, comments, or concerns: please let me know.