The Day the Air Conditioner Died - Part 3

The Day the Air Conditioning Died - Part 3

I pull into the driveway just as the air conditioning person was ringing the door. I walk up behind him and say, "I think you're looking for me."

The AC Man, seriously, that is the name on the side of the van, asks, "You own this house?"

I reply, "Yes. I'm the person that called you."

The AC Man says, "Oh. Ok. Let's look at your AC."

I let him into the house and we walk downstairs to where the dysfunctional AC lives.  I turn on some lights, point to the slatted doors. He opens them and takes a flashlight from his belt and start looking over the unit. After a few minutes of "ohs and ahs," a few turns of a screwdriver and voila ...

The AC Man says, "OK. I see what the problem is."

He points his flashlight to a part of the air conditioner which is filled with ice.

"You see this?"

"Yeah. I see it. How can I miss it? There is a big block of ice in my air conditioner. So, what can I do about it? Where there are two options."

"OK."

"The first option is that you get a new air conditioner."

"Ok. Wat's the second option."

"You can fill in the missing freon, then we can try to bandage up the old system."

"Ok. How much freon do I need."

"The AC Man replies, "Ten gallons."

"How much is it for a gallon?"

"A thousand dollars."

"Really?"

"Yes. really."

"Ok. How much does it cost for a new system. He takes out a set of laminated papers, which contain various uints and pricing information."

"We're looking between eight and ten thousand dollars for a new one."

"Ok. I'll take this one", pointing to the unit which costs eight thousand dollars.

The AC Man smiles and says, "Ok. Just one thing."

I reply, "What's that?"

"We only take cash."

"Cash?"

"Yes."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what year this is?"

"Yes."

I exclaim, almost at the top of my lungs, "I can walk down the f*(kin' street and get Girl Scout cookies using a credit card. I'm not making this deal in cash!"

The AC Man shrugs his shoulders, "That's the way we roll."

I ask, "Are you sure?"

With a stone-cold face and a fake smile, he responds, "Yes."

Looking for some sense of reason, I ask, "Why?

The AC Man's response was equally as unimpressive, "We don't like to pay the credit card fees."

Still trying to negotiate, I ask, "But, I'm giving you eight thousand dollars!"

The AC Man doesn't budge and replies, "A fee is a fee. That's my offer."

For a moment, I looked out the window, thinking about my family. My wife, coming into the house and the first blast of cold air hitting her skin and the sweat instantly turning into ice cubes. My kids also walking into the house, smiling, happy, and refreshed because the air conditioning is working.

It was then I turned to the AC Man and say, "Ok. When can I get the new AC?"

His reply, "Next Tuesday?"

"WHAT !!!!!"

So, next Tuesday comes and goes, the family stays at the in-laws until the air conditioner is fixed. By Tuesday evening, all of us are in the basement watching TV. As we sit in the comfortable house, I turn to my wife and smile. She smiles back, then the lights go out!

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