The suicide of a renowned young male from the world of arts has reignited in most us a dying flame: the flame to recognize and not illtreat those who seek help for their state of mind.
However the incident did entail the search for possible cause. Why did it happen? When we all thought that fame and money could do it all, how did it happen? Is there more to life? Oh no! That makes it hard now!
In that process some of us learned a new word. Some were reminded of it. The large chunk of us knew what it was, that it existed, what it meant and what it could do.
Much like how we were aware of patriarchy, caste discrimination, honor killing, childhood labour and animal cruelty.
We once again became aware of Nepotism.
What really is nepotism?
The easier way to define it is by defining the opposite: impartiality. Now I don't need to define impartialily and the mere absence of it gives you what nepotism is.
The simple act of favouring one over the other based on various means or agendas is a simple enough understanding of nepotism.
The real question that came to mind the moment I wrote this is where this actually begins. At what point in a individuals life is he or she subjected to or is part of such partiality.
I can think of examples based on what I have seen , heard and been a part of to try and the get the timeline right.
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A certain Class 7 student in school is known for his mischief. Or rather, only he got caught, once. Since then, every little thing was pinned on to him. So much so that the best student in class ( so decided solely based on his/her academic performance ) decides to indulge in some occasional bad behavior certain that he won't get the blame.
The kid who gets framed intially feels like a hero. Slowly he gets pissed. And when something scandalous happens, he can't take it anymore. His parents are called.
His parents are very happy with their other son. Good in sports and good in class. They don't find it wrong to say it out everyday at home. Nor do they think it's demeaning to say the same to the principal in front of their other son.
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Everybody knew she could draw better. Including those who took away her opportunity. They didn't know that she had called her parents to see her take part. But that doesn't matter. Not when you aren't the child of the family that contributed to the school's new football ground.
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It was very important to play cricket right after class 10 exams. India had even won the world cup after 28 years and I could not wait for another 28 years to celebrate and play. Make hay.
"But you can't go and play with that boy. His father isn't a nice person."
"Have you met him?" I ask
"No."
" How do you he isn't good?"
"We just know. Now don't ask questions. You can't go play with him.
The same dad who wasn't nice went around and got his son a good cricket bat for the evening. How futile.
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They are equally qualified.
He works for 8 hours.
She works for 8 hours.
He gets paid more.
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The guy walks past the long queue leading to the cash withdrawal counter at the bank. Chats with the clerk and is allowed to give his form first. The guy at the end of the line travelled from the nearby village, switched 2 buses but is not related to a member of the political party or the nearby hospital/police station/ restaurant.
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Three Patients are waiting outside and 2 others who are sick are being seen in the 2 bedded casualty in a small hospital. A guy walks and claims to know the head of the institute and wants to be seen immediately. I ask him to wait and I see him after the 5 patients.
That evening I am called to meet someone above me and asked about the same. I am told to give preference. The person in question is present during the exchange, smirking at me.
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For the final example I would like to mention something more serious and cruel. I would like to talk of those of you who feel lonely. when you are with your friends than when you are actually alone. Those of you who hang out with people just to get some form acceptance and love, but instead get mocked.
Those of you who try to fit in, so much so that you even try to do things that you hate.
Those of you who don't have any place to vent out as your parents are too busy with the better sibling and your friends prefer the one who looks better, has the better car, spends cash easily and is 'cool'.
You survive this, day after day until one fine day when it all breaks and the unthinkable happens.
And they all say, " He was ok till yesterday. We all even went out for dinner. Wonder what happened. RIP."
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Nepotism is everywhere. It's in everything we do. It sadly exists at home.
It has shaped how so many of us think.
If you want that to change, take a vow to change. Step by step, every single day so that a decade later, we can be proud enough to say that we changed society for the better.
