I was out shopping for Office Shoes a few weeks ago since we'll be coming back to the office starting next month. I took my time in walking around and looking at all the different kinds of doll shoes displayed in the Department Store until I found the style I was looking for.
It took time for me to find the shoes I wanted; many thoughts ran around in my mind as I went through the process of choosing the perfect pair: would it be easy to match with my outfits? Does it fit me well? Is it comfortable enough? Is the price reasonable? I allow myself to sink into those thoughts while waiting for the salesperson to come back with the size I requested for the style I've chosen.
I sat down on the nearest bench alongside others who were also waiting for their shoes to arrive. There were many different kinds of people who came and went, both young and old. It made me reminisce a bit back to when I was still a child and I would go shoe shopping with my mom in preparation for a new school year.
To be honest, I was never particularly excited whenever I had to buy new school shoes because of a few reasons. For one, styles before were quite limited and I had a hard time choosing. I would just reluctantly agree to whatever my mom would propose to me as 'good'. Second would be, for some economical reason, I had to go for the shoes which had a bit more room for my feet to grow in. This is in hopes of being able to use the shoes for at least two years. Third would be, that my mom would hurry me with my decision and I would get flustered. Or was it really my decision in the first place, since it was my mom who was paying for it?
Now though, I enjoy the autonomy of making my own decisions, developing and exploring my style, and being able to buy what I want on my own simply because I can now afford it. I no longer have to rely on someone else and if I were to make a rash impulse buy, I only have myself to blame. Though of course it was understandable at that age since I was still a child and had to depend on my parents for most of my purchases.
This was one of the days when I felt all grown up. Funny how I had this kind of moment, in a department store of all places. I guess the wave of memories just came to me because going back to the office felt the same like going back to school, and being alone in a public place allowed me space to entertain such thoughts. This clearly wasn't the first time I was buying myself new shoes as an adult, though I have to admit that I kind of missed having my parents buy me stuff. Is this me regressing??
Perhaps.. but I choose to be thankful for having had that experience in my childhood where my parents taught me how to buy things and how to save money. Maybe this is why so many thoughts run in my head whenever I buy something; it's my inner child reminding me about the value of money. This time, it's my money that I worked for and which I'll be spending for many more of my adult years to come..
The salesperson came by with shoeboxes and handed me the one I requested for. I then tried to fit the shoes, paced around a bit, took photos for reference and sent some to my dearest close friends (just to get a quick second opinion!), and then stood in front of a mirror for quite some time before finally deciding that I had to have them.
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Happy mid-week, dear reader! April went by fast. It's quite hard to believe, because I feel like the year has just started. My perception of time has changed yet again, but I intend to just keep going with the flow as much as I can. Hope you've been well, and sending good vibes albeit virtually. : -)
