Yup, It's Real
It has been well over a decade since I read "Who Moved My Cheese," but the basic tenet remains in my noggin. Here it is: There are two mice that get cheese from location A. One day there is not cheese. They next day there is, again, no cheese. On day three the first mouse sees there is still no cheese, but the other mouse has moved on and found a new cheese at location B. The first mouse keeps going to the old place and never learns. He dies a horrible death. The second mouse becomes president. Ok, I embellished a bit, but the point is that adaptation is incredibly important.
That Sucks
Why? Because I am fairly horrible at conversion to changing situations. I constantly try to hang on or make something new fit an old mold. I view myself as an old, crotchety bastard that has failed at the past and must, therefore, fail at the future. But I suppose that's only partly true. I have been trying over the years to adapt. It is so incredibly important now that I am back in school and filling the role of full-time student...at university. Talk about a learning curve. University is much more Difficult than community college and is kicking my ass, hard.
A family, school, and soon a job. Who took my cheese? I did. I took that sucker, threw it out the window, and said "fuck cheese." Let's try to undo that.
What Matters and What Do I Need?
- A willingness to change - It's all in my self desire.
- Neural Plasticity - This is a little more difficult because of my age, but is still possible. The human brain is amazing. Plus, despite the side effects of ECT, I believe there must be some added benefit here. More about my ECT in a later entry.
- Willpower - I can do this dammit!
- Find role models - This is difficult for me. I see myself as inferior to most people, so even those that are probably not worthy of being a role model may gain my admiration. I need to be more selective.
- Change...often, if needed - Dang this is hard. I will try.
- Realize when I have found new cheese - I cannot search endlessly. I wrote a bit about this in "Daily Musings of 3/29"
- Be proud - I am never proud in myself. Well, almost never. And by never, I mean that I beat myself up consistently over ever minute failure.
There It Is. Do Or Do Not. Trying Is For Those Who Desire.
This post first appeared on Somehow Forward - My Struggle With Bipolar Depression And Suicide, please read the originial post: here
