Alarm clock set for ridiculous o’clock, haven’t had to set an alarm since our last shift in work in November last year. Never mind, this time it’s because we are off on the road again.
Awake ten minutes before the dreaded alarm startled us into wakefulness, stumbled into the bathroom, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes then operation holiday began. Luggage and general bits and bobs finally zipped into bags and taken downstairs, kettle boiled, tandem on the roof rack, cuppa drank, time to go and get the caravan.
Hitched up and ready for the off, Le Shuttle here we come. Deviating off route a little, the motorway is showing major hold ups so off we go via the scenic roads of Surrey, as the sat-nav expected arrival time edged nearer and past the suggested booking in arrival time. Got to the barrier with minutes to spare, the camera recognised our booking and informed us our train was 30 minutes delayed.
Prior to boarding we snaffled all the snacks and sandwiches we had that contained any scrap of meat. It seems Milk & Meat are contraband these days and we are too old to become drug dealers, luckily my suitcase of prescribed medicines is less dangerous than Milk & Meat. We won’t bore you with the train journey details as we have done that before, all went well and we found ourselves in France. EuroTunnel in a Caravan
Four countries in one day today, England, France, Belgium & The Netherlands. Tried to follow the sat-nav but it turns out that the Roman Roads on our sat-nav have been replaced since Volvo built our car, hence the blue arrow appearing to cross endless fields. Now, thanks to Brexit, our phone supplier has decided reintroduced roaming charges will be good for profits, this isn’t good because The Boss has decided not to roam and keep £2 per day in his pocket, therefore following accurate GPS route guidance on our phones is ‘out the window’ as he opts for the “I’ll find it” method.
We get to ‘Camping Wulpen’ at 4.30pm and check in easily before proceeding to a very spacious pitch and comfortably erect the canopy awning in the same 40mph gusts that had blown us all the way from the train terminal to site. With no food in the van (we need Milk & Meat) we have to find an eatery and a supermarket … easy, all available 10km down the road. Ten minutes later “Charging Failure, Service Urgent” the Volvo tells us with a red triangle and a red battery symbol, we are close to Lidl so we continue. The power steering fails, The Boss can barely steer through the village to the car park … “Let’s get the shopping then get the bloody thing back”. Reverse into a spot, No, the car won’t select reverse, try to wind the window up, stuck down. “Forget the shopping, we are going straight back to site”, indicators and brake lights go out and the dash instruments go black, oh well, that’s three miles less on the odometer when we part-ex it. Splutter, splutter, the car totally dies and we luckily rolled into a tarmac area just off a road between nowhere and nowhere in a foreign country and we’d just unloaded all our documents back at the caravan earlier … oops … Oh, and did I say our phones were not ‘roaming’, therefore useless. Well, this is a predicament.
I’m sure I saw tears as he paid £2 for 24 hours roaming. Actually he stayed quite calm as he downloaded the travel breakdown insurance documents and telephone number to his phone and wrote the crucial numbers on the back of a petrol receipt. Then the mammoth task of explaining our position, we knew exactly where we were but pronouncing Oostburg and Zuidzande to the telephone operator in an English accent will no doubt be a moment they never forget. At least we’d put the issue into safe hands but it was now near 8pm local time, The Boss felt I’d be more use back at the site trying to get a bottle of milk from the ‘now closed’ (site wardens love ‘out of hours’ milk purchases, don’t they?) reception. He called a local taxi who only charged €10 per mile (more tears) to take me back while he waited for assistance. I asked the driver if he could take a warm jumper back on his way past, “Yes, only €10 more” … “Don’t worry, he can freeze” I replied.
Now he had full roaming ability, numerous messages were sent to people back home who knew more about cars than us (ie. nothing). “That’s a snapped alternator belt mate” came one reply, a quick look around the oily thing at the front confirmed this was correct. Sort of relieved at this diagnosis and it was also confirmed by ‘Carlo’ the garage owner sent by the breakdown policy who quickly arranged to tow the car away hoping to have it fixed in 2 to 3 days. He tells The Boss he needs to get a taxi back to the caravan site, but when he hears where the site is he says “I know the owner, jump in the van, I will take you back”
He got back to caravan at 9.45pm having not eaten since 11am at the Eurotunnel terminal. “So what have we got to eat” … “Chocolate biscuits & Bran Flakes” I replied, or I could do a specialty Pataks curry sauce (no meat or veg) and a bag of microwave rice. There we go a two course meal with very few condiments. I must say that after going nearly twelve hours without food it went down really well.
