"It's getting dark out, which means the playground is about to close." "The store was out of cookies." "I love the mismatched outfit you picked out."
OK, I'll admit it. These are some of the white lies I've told my toddler. And it turns out I'm not alone. When we asked our readers on Facebook if they've ever bent the truth for their kids, we received thousands of responses. Whether it was to spare their kids' feelings ("That drawing is beautiful") or avoid meltdowns ("The chips are too spicy for you"), everyone seemed to agree: The white lies felt very necessary in the moment.
Keep scrolling for some of the funniest and most relatable responses from Scary Mommy readers.
When you're trying to avoid going somewhere your kids want to go:
"The park is closed. Someone peed on the slide." – Chrissy Buonincontro
"The restaurant my kids chose is closed on whatever random day it may be." – Jordan Hager
"You have to have a party invite to go to Chuck E. Cheese." – Wendy Tipton Teffeteller
When you're trying to get your kids to eat healthy:
"When the ice cream truck plays music, that means he's alerting the neighborhood that he's out of ice cream." – Katie Garrity Higgins
"These chips are the super spicy ones." – Mary Seamon-Zellers
"Vegetables give you X-ray vision." – Alice Gin
"[Insert food item here] tastes like chicken." – Kate Prior Ryan
When you really don't want to listen to that annoying toy or song again:
"The annoying toys are 'broken.' (I really just take the batteries out.)" – Missy Roskopf
"'Baby Shark' went to bed already." – Callie J. Archer
When the "Tooth Fairy" forgot to show up:
"The Tooth Fairy sometimes goes on vacation, and that may be why the tooth pickup is delayed a day or two." – Kate Bryan Ferris
"The tooth fairy only visits clean and tidy rooms and won't work in hazardous conditions." – Elizabeth Locke
When you desperately need to sleep:
"I pretend to be asleep when my kids ask for something, so they have to ask their dad instead." – Brandi Johnson Simpson
"I told my kids the spider was dead. It wasn't, but no one was gonna sleep as long as they thought it was alive. (To be fair, my karma was that I had to sit on their floor in the dark reading to them knowing full well that spider was alive and at large)." – Maggie Quintus
"I told my kids that Santa can come at any time between 9 p.m. - 7 a.m. If they come out of their room and he hasn't come yet, he may not come at all. This fixed an issue with 4:30 a.m. wake-up on Christmas morning." – Kasi Plaskon
When your kids are trying to do something dangerous:
"I told my kids that it's illegal to open your windows on the highway. We were going through a phase of my toddlers sticking their hands out windows." – Denise Butler
"Cars don't work without seatbelts buckled." – Fight Like A Grrl
"The pond in our yard is full of sharks. They will eat you if you get too close to the water's edge." – Jenna Kafer
When your kids are scared, and you're trying to comfort them:
"When we moved to a new house, my daughter was worried that monsters were going to come get her. I told her we had the new house sprayed for monsters during construction, so they couldn't get in." – Tracy Flores
"Because my girls were afraid of bugs, I used to tell them lightning bugs were fairy lights." – Kate Contini
When your kids are lying or misbehaving:
"Ears will turn red when you tell a lie. I knew my son was not telling the truth when he covered his ears." – Shawna Carlson
"Every time you roll your eyes, you get a tiny bit shorter." – Kim Irmen
"I use the 'eyes in the back of my head' when my kids ask me how I know what they are doing." – Tara Sutton
"You have to be married to swear." – Mallory Hardgrove
When you're trying to spare your kids' feelings or make them feel good:
"'You're such a good helper!' Even when I could do the job twice as fast without them." – Natalee Stuart
"That picture is beautiful." – Jennifer Jackson
"I can transfer 'mommy magic' over to my child when he needs a confidence boost." – Adrienne Anthony-Hiatt
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity.
