Why are men like this? Seriously, why? Why TF do they think any of us want to receive a picture on our phones of their dick? Ever? I literally cannot think of a time that I’ve welcomed the experience of hearing ding!, and looking at my phone, only to see a grainy image of a hairy cock and balls in poor lighting pop up on my screen. Not once has this made me be like oooooh yeah gimme some more of that.
And yet, despite women saying time and time again that Dick Pics are gross, offensive, and just not sexy, men don’t get it. They really, really want us to see their penis. Like really. No one knows why. And so the unsolicited dick pics continue.
Confessional #25805618
“Is there a reason why I have to pretend to like my friend's H? He's rude, cruel, abusive, and sends unsolicited dick pics to barely-legal girls. Fuck him. Sorry if it offends you, friend. I wish you'd leave the fucker.”Confessional #25768677
“Every time my friend is in the hospital, her H sends dick pics to women (unsolicited) and tries to arrange for hookups with barely-legal teens. Every time, my friend forgives him.”Confessional #25795285
“My friend is posting on Facebook about her anniversary. Yeah...this is the guy who has been abusive and treats her like shit. Sends unsolicited dick pics to women. I won’t be wishing them a happy anniversary.”Confessional #22953140
“I work on a sex chat site. You would not believe the number of dirty old men who want to cheat on their wives with 18 year olds. You’d also not believe the number of wrinkly old dick pics.”Unfortunately, dick pics have become synonymous with slimy cheating men hitting on girls half their age, so that’s extra gross. “Wrinkly old dick pics”??!! I just threw up in my mouth.
Confessional #25829923
“I did it. I finally blocked my husband's cell phone because he wouldn't stop sending pictures of his stupid dick. I already know what it looks like. If he has an emergency, he can call from the house phone or pay phone...if he can find one.”Confessional #25753069
“Keeping saying how happy you are with your wife and that you love her. Maybe you’ll start to believe it even though we both know it’s not true. Considering you send me dick pics and all. HUGE EYEROLL”Confessional #20755273
“my ds(9) friends dad sent me an unsolicited unwanted dick pick. gross. why? nobody wants to see that shit. if I ever thought of stepping out on my husband, nope. now I know the grass is not greener and men are still aholes.”Confessional #24638527
“Bf broke up with me because I laughed out loud at the picture he sent me...of his dick. I told him, no dick pics! I hate that crap! "Show me you're a man; not show me your manhood!"”We do not want your dick pics here or there. We do not want them anywhere. Not on a plane. Not on a train. Not if you’re our husbands. Not if you’re our boyfriends. So stop.
Confessional #25785802
“Fell hard for (what I thought was) my EAP. Apparently he just likes sending dick pics. Hurting, sad, and so so lonely even though I rarely get to actually be alone.”Confessional #25535051
“Wish there was a way on dating sites to say sex will be important to me in a long-term relationship w/o attracting all the creeps. Yes, I'll want sex (a lot!) when we're a couple, so don't waste my time if you won't, but I DON'T want dick pics & hook-ups”Confessional #23346714
“I put a nice, engaging dating profile online w/ hot pics. At the end I said unsolicited dick pics will be met w/ ridicule, followed by posting on social w/ the guy's face and info. I've received 0 msgs. Apparently, men don't like not sending dick pics.”Confessional #25196255
“I get paid to chat with men on dating websites. This had further solidified my feeling that 99.9% of men are pigs. Men love taking their (unimpressive) dick pics, want to fuck women young enough to be their grandchildren, etc. They're truly disgusting.”And if you’re on the dating scene, ughhhh you’re probably getting flooded with them in your DMs. Can men actually just use dating websites and get to know potential partners without sending pictures of their crotch? Like, is it possible?
Confessional #25760153
“Out of curiosity, I looked up dick pics on Google images. I felt nothing. Dicks are ugly. Men are ugly.”Confessional #25747691
“Dear Men, no one wants your dick pic. Your wife included”Confessional #22637121
“No woman on the planet wants an unsolicited dick pic. Yet, men can't seem to grasp this fact. Why is it difficult?????......”Confessional #25570349
“Sorry I laughed at your "dick pic" but that is just a hilarious-looking bit of manhood.”Listen, guys. It’s not a turn on. It doesn’t make us hot. It makes us roll our eyes, feel a little nauseous, and honestly, when we see your dick, we now just think you are a dick. And we block you.
Confessional #25797081
“I'm kind of upset that I missed the Chris Evans dick pic on Instagram. I really underestimated the importance of Instagram.”Confessional #25797928
“Normally I think dick pics are silly BUT, I admit I did look up Chris Evans’ pic. It did not disappoint!”Confessional #25785396
“I hope to god that Chris Evans has a dick to match the Captain America fantasy I've been building.”Unless you’re Chris Evans. That one hits different.
But you’re not Chris Evans. Not even close. So tuck it back in, zip it up, and offer to take us to dinner and maybe buy us a drink instead. How about tacos? Buying us tacos is hot. A selfie with your schlong? The opposite of hot. In fact, your nasty dick pics that no one asks for actually make our vaginas dry up immediately and sends our clits back into the fold like terrified turtles.
So next time you’re about to hit send on that fucker, take a beat, remember that it’s likely going to be met with disgust and laughter on the other end, and… well… don’t.
The post From The Confessional: No One Wants To See Your D*ck Pic, Steve appeared first on Scary Mommy.
