It’s that time of year again! Time for the office holiday parties and those awkward Gift exchanges with the extended relatives you only see once a year. If your gift exchange happens to be a White Elephant or Dirty Santa party, you’re in luck this year. Gag gifts can be hard to buy for people you aren’t super close with, and walking that line between funny and offensive is like trying to tap dance on a razor wire.

Luckily, the options this year are more entertaining than ever, and you should be able to snag a few that are only mildly inappropriate (read: probably won’t get you fired or disinvited from Easter dinner). Shop at your own risk!

The Gift of Nothing

I’ve been eyeing this gag gift for a few years now, and I think this year is the year I’m finally going to pull the trigger on this one. Can you imagine the conversation later?

“What did you get for Christmas?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yes, someone actually paid money to get me literally nothing.”

I don’t see a downside here.

Brass Balls

For that special someone in your life who already has everything, now you can get the keychain version of basic truck nutz. Just what your third cousin never knew he always wanted.

Shut Up Asshole Coloring Book

Adult coloring books have been a fan favorite for a few years now, so this entry is winning before it even begins. Maybe grab a pack of glitter gel pens to go with it, and the lady in the cubicle next to you will secretly love you forever. Maybe this will entice her to start chipping in her fair share in the office coffee collection box.

Grow The Fuck Up — A Step-by-Step Guide

Amazon

I flipped through a few chapters of this, and I’m not going to lie: It’s pretty fucking amazing. I’m thinking of buying this one as stocking stuffers for my teenage kids, and not even as a gag gift. I might stick another copy in my husband’s stocking too.

50 Ways to Eat Cock Cookbook

I am a huge fan of cock, but even I don’t know 50 different ways to eat it. Maybe Santa should stick this one in my stocking. Ahem.

Dear Asshole Tear-Out Book

Perfect for the person who always seems to be running into assholes but never has a spare moment to give them, now there’s a tear-out pad with some pre-printed messages especially for the jerks you encounter.

Reindeer Poop

Because most people secretly have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old, and because chocolate is rarely ever a bad choice, consider a bag of reindeer poop for your contribution to the White Elephant party, especially if it’s one of those swanky office shindigs.

Man Glitter

Man Glitter = Sawdust. I don’t know who thought of this, but I can think of a few people who wouldn’t know what real sawdust was if they were sitting on a pile of it. Paired with a pair of work gloves and/or one of those toy plastic saws, you could offend or amuse just about anyone with this gift.

What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner

The recipes in here sound delicious, and the language is salty AF. It’s damn near perfect. I don’t collect cookbooks, given that I have access to, you know, the internet, but if I did, this would definitely have to go in my collection.

Weener Kleener Soap

“One size fits most.” The jokes write themselves here, so I won’t bother.

Unicorn Poop Soap

This year may have been the year of the Rooster in the Chinese zodiac, but it was really the year of the Unicorn in the world of Instagram. We had unicorn makeup, unicorn brushes, unicorn drinks, and unicorn hair. We unicorned hard AF this year. And now, if you just can’t get enough, you can wash your ass with unicorn poop.

Unicorn Farts

More unicorn-inspired gifts, you say? Hell yes, there are.

Unicorn Snot

Just in case you aren’t happy with all your unicorn paraphernalia so far, you can also make it look like one sneezed all over you too.

More Unicorn Snot

Or you can handle and squeeze and knead some snot-inspired putty.

Unicorn Meat

And whether you’re sick of all the unicorn shit or just want to crush someone’s hopes and dreams, we now have unicorn meat in a can like a fancier version of Spam. (Don’t worry, though, no actual unicorns were harmed in the making of this product.)

Editors may receive samples and/or a share from purchases made via links on this page. All opinions are our own.