While that sounds like a downer, it's actually amazing to me to be at this stage. As I've said before, I feel better and more capable as every week passes even though my allowables are still limited. Yes there are down moments and maybe brief bits of depression but the goal remains: to go from Leukemia remission to Leukemia long-term remission or straight to being cured. 

We don't report often because, well, the changes week to week are really nuanced. A better clinical number here, better sleep here and there, improved appetite most of the time, but the details of the changes are so ..... trivial? minute? complicated? clinical? .... that it's hard to put into words. And sometimes when you find the words to explain a gain it falls back temporarily and you feel like your report was premature. But so far it always comes back in just a few days if not the next day. Good thing I don't mind a rollercoaster now an then, though this one is not quite the thrill ride one expects. 

Some days I feel a bit guilty that I'm not back at work but then the next day reminds me why I'm not yet reliable enough for that. And then, of course, there's the on-going appointments and such. Still, I feel it won't be long before I'm steady enough to at least work part time and at my Doctor's suggestion I'm technically COVID vaxxed which I hear is required now. I say technically because my immune system is still suppressed to prevent Graft vs Host disease so whatever immunity may have been conveyed may be fairly weak and my prior natural immunity was long ago destroyed by chemo. So what use was the vaccine? For the Doc it was something preventative that has a chance to provide benefit. For me it was simply this: if we have, indeed, defeated Leukemia and completed the original goal there is no way I'm taking a chance on then losing to COVID while still compromised. Could you only imagine? I can and that's why I also got the flu vaccine as recommended. 

And now a little reminder that you too can register at Be The Match and volunteer to donate and have the chance to be someone's hero and/or donate blood if you are able. My need is thankfully behind me but there are many others now and in the future whose lives can be saved by these gifts. If you can not donate there are also opportunities to volunteer at the Red Cross, at Hospitals, and at other health centers. We benefitted indirectly and directly from some of the volunteers at the 3 facilities I was incarcerated at. COVID limits what a volunteer can do right now but that should change in the years to come.

My sleep has improved some, appetite as well. I have fewer of those "woe is me" moments throughout the week, though Wendy has kept me from experiencing too many of those. It pays to choose your support well. It certainly was not a quality I was concerned about almost 38 years ago when I proposed by I guess God figured that part out for me, eh?

It feels redundant but I can never say enough:
Thank you for your prayers
Thank you for your support
Thank you for encouraging us
Thank you for caring for Wendy when I was not able
Thank you for the many ways you've helped and for encouraging gifts
Thank you for reading all of these silly, confusing, and sometimes confusing musings 

We look forward to the day when I'm truly footloose and fancy free and can thank more of you in person. Just the little bits of freedom we've enjoyed recently have been a huge encouragement so forgive me if I get a bit emotional when we do see you again. 

Jeff