Time went by and our little family got to experience a little bit of "normal". All the children seemed to have adjusted nicely and were doing well, or so we thought. My oldest had always been very studious but we noticed a significant decline in her grades. This was concerning considering she'd be looking at colleges in a couple of years. We assumed it was just the transition into high School and that she would quickly get the hang of things.

She was good friends with the daughter of our next door neighbor, who had recently transfered to a Christian Boarding School. They spent quite a bit of time together when the young lady came home to visit. She soon approached me about trying the school herself. I refused to even consider it. The school was 2 hours away and the thought of her living away from home at such a young age was inconceivable to me.

Soon, her behavior started to change. She started back talking and getting into trouble here and there. It didn't take long to escalate to the point that it seemed I couldn't talk to her about anything. She was just so angry all the time. Being a previous Social Worker, I decided to seek out some counseling for her, in effort to help her work through whatever was going on.

Turned out she was having anxiety and the anger was stemming from the realization that my mom was really gone. They were extremely close. As a little girl she probably spent more time with my mother then she did with me. She babysat her while I worked and attended school full time. I knew she had taken it pretty hard. After all, she had never really experienced loss before, but I had no idea she was also repressing many of her feelings.

The plan was to continue counseling and try to work through it together. Unfortunately, I soon found out she had made some new, questionable friends. Some were on drugs, some sexually active, and some who had even been expelled permenantly from high school due to behavior issues. She was grounded indefinitely but I couldn't control what happened at school or who she hung out with there.

I was scared. I had seen 1st hand the deterioration drugs could take on a young person's life and how fast it could happen. I knew she was at a very vulnerable, yet pivotal point in her life. We tried talking to her, but she continued to distance herself from us. I didn't know what to do.

She again approached me about trying the boarding school. I didn't want her to go, but agreed to research it. I quickly found out that it was very expensive but she would likely quality for a full scholarship. They prided themselves on helping teens to strengthen their relationship with God. I prayed about it and finally agreed to go for the tour.

They appeared to offer much more then a basic education. There was a farm, that was part of the school, where they grew their own food. Classes were small and they were thoroughly supervised. She was very interested and continued to stress the need to get away for a little while. I eventually agreed on a trial basis.

I felt like I was being robbed of the precollege time I had left with her. I missed her terribly and wanted her to come home. We visited regularly and brought her home for visits as often as we could. I soon noticed a big change in her demeanor.  She was starting to act like her old self again. She talked a lot about God and religion. She started participating in cheerleading and other extracurricular activities.

She finally opened up to me and admitted she had been angry with God for taking her grandmother. She said she rebelled out of frustration when the anger continued to get worse. Near the end of her 10th grade year, she returned home. It was obvious she was different. She had been working on the farm and had learned so much about caring for the animals and horticulture. She did her own laundry, made real efforts to spend time with her siblings, and had a new found confidence about her. I now understand that while it wasn't what I wanted for her, the experience was necessary. It provided her the time she needed to work through things and find herself, only to return home a leader.