Being a 1st time Stepmom can be very intimidating. No stranger to children and motherhood, this was a hat I had never before had the privilege of wearing. I had a stepmom growing up and several stepfathers, so being a part of a blended family was nothing new. Still, this was one new adventure in which failing was not an option.

I had heard war stories from others about issues they had faced and had no idea what to expect. All I knew is that I was truly in Love with my husband, committed to doing the best I could, and this young man was a very important part of his life. His kind and loving nature had also quickly made him an important part of mine, even before I married his father.

It was very important to me to establish my boundaries early on, in order to avoid overstepping them. Despite whatever issues previously existed between her and my new husband, his mother was very warm and understanding toward me and encouraged a good relationship between her son and I. I knew this was rare, and had come to respect her.

I also realized a lot had happened very fast, and though only 9 at the time, he had a lot of new life changes going on as a result. He had a new baby sister, 2 new step siblings, and a new stepmom. We made an effort to talk with all the kids about what these changes meant for them personally. Though he seemed excited about the new additions to his family, he didn't live with us, so it was hard to gage his true feelings.

Over the previous year, I had gotten to know this little guy more and more during each visit. We had taken the kids camping in North Carolina, when we were dating, as well as to other various recreational activities, and had now spent quite a bit of time together. I had really come to love him and hoped he felt the same. He was very kind and quiet natured. Also funny, easy going, and sensitive.

I soon learned that this was not your average 9 year old. The more I got to know him, the more I came to admire him. He was sweet, sympathetic to others, smart, honest, and even more charming then his father. He made me feel so welcome in his life and put all my fears at ease. It's hard living so far away from him and not seeing that handsome smile as much. I pray that despite the distance between us, he never doubts how very much he is loved or what an important part of our family he truly is. Thankfully, he has a great mother, who has always tried to work with us so we can spend as much time as possible with him.

It has truly been a joy and a privilege to watch him grow up. The word stepson only exists on paper for us now, as I know I couldn't possibly love him more, even had I been fortunate enough to have carried him myself. He is a wonderful big brother and an unmistakably special young man. Turns out being a stepmom is nothing less than opening your heart to the child of your own, you happened to meet a little late.

I know my experience was not typical, and that this transition can be a real struggle for some families. Nearly 5 years later, I can say for certain that God truly blessed me in letting me be such an important part of his life, and I'm so very thankful for the sincere love he continues to show me. Thank you Hunter Mullins. I love you. 

Leave a comment about your experiences or fears as a stepmom.