OMG!! After the revelation that the Danish jury points might have to change because Hilda Heick ranked her favourite songs upside-down, we can exclusively reveal that this year's voting system has cruelly robbed the United Kingdom of victory.

Joe & Jake were clearly the best performers and "You're Not Alone" was obviously the best song of the night, however the televoters got confused and thought they were voting for the songs they DIDN'T LIKE!! This means that the Joe & Jake only scored a measly 8 points or something from the televote when it is quite obvious to anyone with any taste in music that they should have scored at least 450 and trounced Jamala to bring the Eurovision trophy back to the United Kingdom.
The Schlagerboys think this is outrageous and would start a petition or something if we could be bothered. It really just isn't acceptable that the voting system doesn't make sure that the song that we want to win wins!! Are you listening EBU?? We demand change!! And we demand it now!!