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Thursday 3rd April 2008

Hello folks, and welcome to another helping of the greatest Blog on the net Captain Jacks Tracks. And as ever, so as not to disappoint, yet again this week we have news, big news to bring you. As regular readers will know, our weekly Karaoke night was, shall we say, taken away from us late last year, which led to all kinds of problems. Well on Tuesday, we found out that our main man Andy was to lose his Thursday Night spot, and to just keep his Tuesday spot, much to our disappointment, as the Thursday nights had started to pick up and be a lot busier than when they were knocked on the head last time.

Was this to be the end of the Karaoke section in Captain Jack’s Tracks. Was it all just to become norks and jokes, just Hot Chicks and Classic Tracks. Well not quite just yet, as it appears that a brand spanking new Karaoke/Quiz night is to appear on our Thursday night. Now if this will prove to be long term or not who knows. After the rather disjointed first night, then it seems the change may have been a little hasty, but who knows. A quiz night is not always a winner, people tend to drift off after a bit, especially if they are thick, and there is always the problem of cheating! I mean first week in our team we got out of thirty questions, 9 out of 10 of the general knowledge questions, and 19 out of 20 in the music round, giving us a grand total of 28, only to see our score handed in as 26 not 28, giving the first prize to a team that quite clearly cheated, as they only started the quiz after most of the general knowledge questions had been asked! But not to be too downhearted we did win a rather nice bottle of plonk, which unfortunately is difficult to share between the team, so good old Captain Jack decided to drink it himself, so as not to cause any in team brawl’s!
This is apparently a new attempt to liven up the Thursday Nights, and if it is going to be long term, then all of us Thursday regulars will give it our backing, as long as we can still get to sing as well, but if it is that it starts to lose its appeal, then a new Karaoke Classics venue will have to be found, or else what would I get to write about for you lovely people!

So more on the Karaoke later, still lots to get through this week. Yes all the regular items will be back for you to enjoy. We have a tricky song for you to guess in Every Picture Sings A Song, a great Classic Track, another meet the crew, another Hot Chick, more from that scamp Ronnie Wood, a little drink at the Cocktail Lounge, more footie gaffs in It’s A Funny Old Game, more Films That Should Be Made, and all the usual music gubbins that I know you love. So without further distraction, lets get on with it all, with this weeks………….

Here we are again with my musical catchphrase fun slot, and don’t be taking that the wrong way, as in no way are you getting anyway near my fun slot matey! Anyway I digress, lets get on with it. Now rumours are going around that after being told that the little quiz was getting to hard, it has now apparently, become too easy! God there’s no pleasing some people. You stay up to the early hours of the morning putting this stuff together, slaving away over the keyboard, spending hour after hour thinking of witty things to write, leaving hours of stuff to catch up on your Sky+ machine and for what, to be told your picture quiz is to easy! Well I go to the bottom of our stairs! So if that’s the case, lets go for something a little more tricky this week, see how this little beauty grabs you then!

1. The song is apparently written about pubic lice, although the Band has since said it isn’t!
2. It was released in 2003 and was the first charting hit by the band, reaching the top 30.
3. The song was taken from the best album winner at the 2004 Brit Awards.

Now lets see if you find that one as easy as last weeks! Now you know the drill by now. If you want to, go on scroll down to the answer, but you will be missing out on lots of other good stuff! Don’t say I didn’t warn you! But if your patient enough read on my faithful readers, and calm yourself before you get to the answer and you can rest safe in the knowledge that you got a hard one right this week, of course that is if you get it right, but then of course if you don’t get it right will you think its too hard again, but then if you get it right, will you think it’s still too easy and start to think I’ve gone all soft, thus making the whole feature completely pointless! Bugger it the answer is….. Now look you’ve got me going all funny in the head and I’m wittering on! Now lets all calm ourselves with a lovely calming picture.

Much better! So much to get on with still, God I sound like that bloody Mary Poppins bird! Its now time to bring you another in my very popular, if not ever so slightly biased, Classic Tracks series………

Classic Track # 11

Thunder ~ Backstreet Symphony 1989

Well its time to bring you a classic track from a band who describe themselves as the best Rock band you have never heard of, and believe me they are. I can proudly say that I was been there from the beginning with this band, from the days they were known as Terraplane, to the forming of Thunder, and the years of touring, retirement, splits, reforming, and all by as the band put it the best band you have never heard of. From the first time I heard this track I was hooked. The riff on the guitars is everything you could want from a rock band, loud, pounding, catchy, different, familiar.

This was the title track from the album, also called Backstreet Symphony. The band of course are Thunder, and they consist of Danny Bowes on vocals, Luke Morley on Guitar, Gary “Harry” James on Drums, Ben Mathews On Guitar and Keyboard and Chris Childs on Bass. The album was a huge success in the 90’s, as rock had hit a bit of a lull in the UK, and fans wanted something to remind them of what it used to be like in the days of the 70’s rock legends. Thunder was the answer.
The blues rock style reminded the fans of such giants as Zeppelin and Deep Purple, with the catchy rock vibe of Whitesnake. The vocals of Danny Bowes reminded people a lot of Whitesnakes David Coverdale, and Bowes is still talked about as having one of the best rock voices. Luke Morley is also classed as not only one of the best guitarists the rock scene has produced, but also one of the best songwriters as well. The huge success of the album led to a opening slot at the 1990 Monsters Of Rock Festival at Donnington, where for once the crowd were there from the start to see this brilliant new British Rock sensation. In fact Aerosmith and Whitesnake, who were both on the same line up, were so impressed, they asked them to join then on the European Leg of the then Monsters Of Rock tour, where they played in France. They also appeared at the 1992 festival, and in 1994 legendary drummer Harry James was the announcer at the festival.

Like the proverbial bad penny, Thunder returned in 2002. So, why reform? Thunder were tempted back into action by a slot on the touring Monsters Of Rock UK arena shows in late 2002. They returned in 2003 with a new album called Shooting At The Sun released on their own label. Their second self-released album, The Magnificent Seventh spawned a top 30 single, I Love You More Than Rock And Roll in March 2005, reaching number 27 in the charts. The band also took part in the triumphant return of the Monsters of Rock festival in 2006 at Milton Keynes, sharing the bill with Deep Purple, Alice Cooper, Journey, Queensryche and Ted Nugent and. Hailed as one of the stars of the show Thunder justified their reputation as one of the best British live acts. If you want to hear a good old fashioned rock band, you won’t find one any better then Thunder, and if you want to see how its done, then the band have just announced a British tour in November, and believe me as a live act, there are very few better.

There you are, yet another delve into my bag of Classic Tracks, and a band that I'm sure, if you trust your Captain, you will take the time to have a listen too. Now lets just have a quick work with our sponsor.

One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"

Ha ha har de har har. Hello maties an welcome ye all to another edition of Meet The Crew. Thar She Blows. You’ll have to excuse that smell I had beans for me tea, blow the man down yar ha har.
Now this weeks varmant is a fearsome wnch if ever there was a fearsome wench me old bucco. Her name be feared all over the seven seas, an her ship, The Satan’s Scream has run the shot across the bow of many a Sutler! Yar ha har Jim Lad. Her name be Cap’n Polly Blackwater, or as you may know her better, Paula Abdul.
She’s given many a sailor the Black Spot, and is another of the crew that is keen to jump in with her big Booty shaking all over the poop deck while wailing out a shanty, the bilge sucking blaggard!
She can often be found with her two cohorts when in port, the fearsome Simon of the Tight Trouser, and Randy of the Deep Voice, but that’s another tale for ye to here another day.

You best keep yourself shipshape with this one lads, or with her mighty cutlass, you might find yourself walking the plank and ending up at the bottom of the briney. Shiver me Timbers.
Godspeed me old cock sparrows, I’m off now to flog me Jolly Roger while he splices me mainbrace! Ya ha har arrrrrrgghh

Its time again for my cheeky celebrity chum Ronnie Wood to lay out his easel for all to see and create a masterpiece for you again this week. Now it won’t come as much of a surprise when you see what he has got for us this week, in fact I’m sure he love to catch people at their very worst to bring us the very best pictures. British model Naomi Campbell was released on bail after being detained by police on suspicion of assaulting a police officer at Heathrow Airports new Terminal 5, as if they haven’t had enough problems this last couple of weeks!
The 37 year old was removed from a flight by police after reportedly being rude and abusive to staff. Witnesses say she was handcuffed and escorted from the plane. A police source said she was going nuts, pinching, spitting, punching out to the BA staff, who were genuinely concerned, and had no alternative than to call the police when she refused to calm down.
A spokeswoman for Campbell said the incident had occurred to due the confusion surrounding the chaos that the new terminal building has suffered recently. Apparently one of her bags was lost as she boarded the plane, and when she refused to go without knowing where it was, she was asked to leave to plane. More like thrown off love!
As you can see Ronnie has yet again caught the scene in his own inimitable way, the cheeky little scamp! More from Ronnie next week!

And now its a very special Five Minute Scive. With the new Doctor Who series starting on the BBC this week, I thought why not have a Doctor Who oriented scive time, but I couldn't decide on one game, as there are so many good ones, so here is my Doctor Who Special Edition of.......

The Doctor Who Games Homepage

Now lets face it all the rest of these Hot Chicks have been pretty Hot Stuff, and I admit it has sometimes been a bit of a chore checking out all the pictures to make sure I only bring you the most presentable pictures of the said Hot Chick. And so for this week I have decided to bring a relatively unknown Hottie to your attention, and boy is she a hot one lads, so here we go with another fabulously hot edition of……………..

Stacy Keibler was born in 1979 and is an actress, but is better known as a former professional wrestler and manager for WCW and WWE, and if I’m honest with you all lads, I think I’d let her win! She began her professional wrestling career as a part of the Nitro Girls in WCW. She quickly moved on to a more prominent role in the company as the manager Miss Hancock. As Miss Hancock, she was known for doing table dances, her relationship with David Flair, and an ill-conceived pregnancy storyline. After WCW was purchased by WWE, she moved to the new company, taking part in the Invasion Storyline and managing the Dudley Boyz, and also Test and Scott Steiner. Before her departure, she was affiliated with Rosey ant The Hurricane and nicknamed Super Stacy, and you can see why!

Stacy was born in Baltimore, in the good old US of A. Beginning at the age of three, she took ballet, jazz, tap and lap dancing classes. After attending the Batimore Catholic School, she attended Towson University where she studied mass communication, and looking at how hot she is, she has no problems communicating with the masses. She went to university on a partial-scholarship and had a 3.7 GPA. During this time, Stacy became a hot cheerleader for the Baltimore Ravens American Football Team at the age of eighteen, where she got to bounce around waving her pom poms at anyone who was looking. Fantastic!

Stacey began watching wrestling with her boyfriend at the time, some luck bugger named Kris Cumberland. In late 1999, she entered a contest held by WCW to find a new member of the Nitro Girls dance troupe. In November, she defeated 300 other girls for a spot on the dance troupe and a $10,000 prize. Her winning routine was watched by 4.4 million viewers. As a Nitro Girl, Stacy performed dance routines every week on WCW's flagship show Monday Nitro under the name Skye. By 2000, Stacey was appearing on WCW as a Nitro Girl, attending school full-time, and cheering for the Baltimore Ravens, busy girl!

She soon accepted a larger role and became a Wrestling Manager using the stage name Miss Hancock, briefly serving as an associate for the tag team Standards and Practices. Despite wearing business suits, her character was known to climb on top of the announcers' table and dance sensually. It was also during this period that she began using what would become her trademark ring entrance, slowly putting her 42” inch legs through the second tier of ropes, pausing to let the crowd momentarily see her underwear. At 5 ft 11 in, Stacey was one of few women in professional wrestling tall enough to step over the middle of three ropes that surround the ring. Well I think we had better take a look at her in her underwear in this next picture, you know for scientific purposes.

When WCW was purchased by the WWF in 2001, Stacey’s contract was one of twenty-four that were retained by the WWF. She portrayed a character in The Alliance, and made her WWF television debut in 2001 on an episode of Smackdown when Shane McMahon brought her to the ring to distract Rhyno, causing him to lose a match. I can’t imagine her being that distracting! Stacey originally teamed up with real-life friend Torrie Wilson, and the pair feuded with Trish Stratus and Lita. During this feud, the four Divas competed in the first-ever tag team Bra And Panties Match, which Trish and Lita won. Sorry lads no pictures of that, but here is another one of Stacey to enjoy.
She then set her sights on the WWE Women's Championship at Judgement Day, facing Trish Stratus in a losing effort. She faced Stratus several more times in the proceeding weeks, losing every time. After several more years and swapping from Smackdown to Raw, several more Lingerie matches and a host of storylines that involved Stacey in pinning down other wrestlers and generally being sexy, she decided to take a break from wrestling and pursue other ventures, like being photographed wearing a black latex swim suit!

She competed in the second season of Dancing with the Stars. Her dance partner was ballroom dancer Tony Dovolani. Stacey managed to score a perfect 10 in the earliest round of the competition ever. Stacey also received a perfect score of 30 from the three judges for her samba dance routine in week five. This prompted the judges to nickname her a weapon of mass seduction. The following week, two perfect scores were awarded, one going to Stacey, the other to fellow contestant Drew Lachey. Overall, Stacey and Tony received four perfect scores. She eventually came in third to Jerry Rice, who placed second in the final round of the competition, and Lachey, the winner of the season. However, some viewers and two of the judges, Bruno Tonioli and Len Goodman, felt she should have at least placed second. Now do you want a picture of her in her dance gear or tugging on a rope? The rope O.K. then.

For several months, Stacey wrote a monthly fitness column for Stuff magazine titled Getting Fit. In addition, she has graced the cover of Stuff twice, once in 2005 and then in 2006. Maxim named her number 5 in their 2006 Hot 100 issue and number 70 in their 2007 Hot 100. She has also been asked multiple times to pose for Playboy, but has repeatedly turned down the offer, boo! She also starred in a commercial for AT & T alongside comedian Carrot Top. Stacey has also appeared on MTV's prank show Punk’d twice, once as an accomplice to Triple H's prank, along with Stephanie McMahon, and then as a victim of a prank by her boyfriend, Geoff Stults.

In February 2007, Stacey began her recurring role on ABC's Monday night comedy, What About Brian. She plays the role of Brian's new neighbour and love interest, Stephanie. This marked her first significant acting role, compared to her previous minor roles in the films Bubble Boy and Pecker. Stacey also guest starred on The George Lopez Show on ABC when the show returned in. According to an interview on E! Television, she hopes to have her own sitcom soon and is also working on The Comebacks, a comedy film produced by Punk'd producer Adam Goldberg. Now as wrestlers go, lets face it, she is a damn site better looking than say Giant Haystacks, and the only Giant Haystacks I would like to see her in would not involve any wrestling! Ah yes I'm sure you will agree, another fine addition to the growing list of Hot Chicks!

Now lets move on and calmly take in this weeks.........

Ah here we are again with my little section that places the well known of this world into the Star Wars world. And this week has a touch of Royalty about it. Now lets face it this guy is pretty ugly without dressing up as a little green man, but to be fair I had to look twice to see if he had actually dressed up at all. It is of course His Royal Highness The Prince Of Wales, or Charlie for short, and with his royal light sabre he can happily chop off the heads of his dead flowers as he is talking to his plants, or Camilla for that matter! One slipped with ones light sabre what what what.

Now after that Hot Chick and those Star Wars shenanigans I think its high time we nipped off for a quick drinky poo down at the old cocktail bar, won’t you join me for a tipple at…………

Wembley Cocktail Recipe

1 measure scotch whisky
1 measure dry vermouth
1 measure pineapple juice
Shake the ingredients well with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.
Decorate with a pineapple slice and a cocktail cherry.

Right then pass it here bar keep let get the old lips around this little drink then, though quite what its got to do with Wembley I don’t know. Blimey O’Riley. Its almost taken the roof of me mouth off. I can see the football association now cause I feel like I’ve just been tackled by Norman Hunter, Goodness me, I’ll have another of those little beauties, and lay off the fruit young man, it’s spoiling the taste.
Hersh we go agaisn. Good gosgh its like pintstropper that ish, my good man, I do belif you trying to get me plashterdated again. Wizzowt qwestiotion the very bestest inventionatation, in the hishtowy of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine inventionatation, but a wheel doesh not go ash well wiv a ruby murry. Shown me the waysh to go homski. La te da ti da!

Now all the silliness is over its time to move onto the serious side of the blog for just a short time as we head into this weeks musical interlude. Coming shortly is another fine live performance in Live Is Best, followed by this weeks Karaoke Classics, and finally will be the Alternate music history. So lets kick off this week with Live Is Best…….

Biffy Clyro ~ Living Is A Problem

Reading Festival 2007

Now as I said at the start of this weeks blog, there has been a slight change in the format of our beloved Thursday Night. No longer is it just to be Karaoke, but now it Karaoke/Quiz night, so that will probably mean fewer songs, well at least for the next few weeks at least. But in true Captain Jack tradition, I will try to keep the songs I do get to perform as much in the old way as I possibly can. So with a quiz broken evening I did manage to get two songs in this week, and they were 1. Somewhere In My Heart by Aztec Camera and What I’ve Done by Linkin Park.

Somewhere In My Heart by Aztec Camera

Highest UK Chart Position: No 3 June 1988

A great song to start off with, and having never sang with the new guy it was clear after going first that his system is nowhere near as good as Andy’s set up, sounding far to tinny. But with going first I felt that to kick off with something that I was comfortable with was the way to go this week, so I plumped for this classic late 80’s track.
Aztec Camera were a New Wave band from Scotland. Although generally considered to be born out of the post punk movement, Aztec Camera's music is mostly acoustic oriented and might be better described as indie guitar music. The band's line-up changed numerous times in its first few years, but the constant member has been singer songwriter Roddy Frame. Frame became interested in music in the mid-1970s, and was inspired by David Bowie. At the age of 16 he became involved with Postcard Records, and he began to record a string of low budget singles such as Just Like Gold and Mattress of Wire. The latter single drew attention from BBC Radio 1 DJ, the late John Peel, which he showcased on his show.
In 1983, Aztec Camera released High Land, Hard Rain, their first LP on Rough Trade records, though this did not include the first two Postcard singles. It featured the single Oblivious, and Aztec Camera and Frame began to gain recognition. Frame signed the band to WEA. Aztec Camera's second album, Knife, released in 1984, was produced by Dire Strait‘s Mark Knopfler. The album gave the band their second hit single All I Need is Everything.
Their third album, Love spawned this single, which reached number 3 in the UK chart and is still a regular on radio today. Frame went onto record the 1990 hit Good Morning Britain with The Clash lead singer Mick Jones, which gave the band a top twenty hit, despite the record being knocked for having political overtones. Frame disbanded the band in 1995, and is now still recording as a solo artist.

What I’ve Done by Linkin Park

Highest UK Chart Position: No 6 May 2007

Now what better way to introduce yourself to a new KJ (Karaoke Jockey for those that don’t know the lingo) than with a good old blast at Linkin Park. My regular readers will all know that I do have an ever so slight love of the band, and well its always good to blast the old speaker dust out with a bit of the old Linkin Park boys. So what can I tell you about the song, well not a lot that I haven’t already said, and if you have missed out on what I have said, then this is a good time to click on the older posts at the botton of the page, and read back through some of my older posts! Pays to advertise you know.
So one thing I have found out about this particular track is that, despite being released in 2007, it only dropped out of the UK charts in February of 2008, spending a whopping 28 weeks on the UK charts, beating the bands previous record on the UK charts by 20 weeks!
But just so you don’t feel left out I do have a little bit of Linkin Park news for you to salivate over. Linkin Park will bring their annual Projekt Revolution tour to the UK with a Kerrang!-sponsored one-off show at Milton Keynes Bowl on June 29. The festival-style show is set to feature a set by rapper Jay-Z, who collaborated with the band on the 2004 release Collision Course. So far the line up at the event on 29th June are as follows, Linkin Park and Jay-Z as we know, joined by Pendulum, who are a drum and base group originally hailing from Australia, N*E*R*D, the rappers who include superstar producer Pharell Williams, Enter Shikari, a post hard core rock band who I saw at Donnington last year and are very loud, and The Bravery, the rock band that had a hit last year with An Honest Mistake.

This week sees another well known artist take a different direction from his normal path. Rapper 50 Cent is well know for his bad boy image. He burst onto the scene with the massive In Da Club, and comes from the Eminem stable of rappers, and has worked with such hip hop legends as Jay-Z, Ja Rule and the master himself Dr Dre, oh and that Justin Timberlake dude. But what if the ex drug dealing rapper had decided to leave the bad mo fo image behind him and head off to find another path, maybe as a native from another country, somewhere like say Australia, you know like maybe an Aborigine, well look for yourself. Tie me kangaroo down sport!

Hmm enough with the music, lets move swiftly on to my Hollywood Movie wishlist in this weeks........

Anyone for a bit of sport, lets have another funny quip in this weeks edition of........

Here’s one a little too close to home. Port Vale keeper Paul Musselwhite came charging out of the penalty box towards the right touchline, pushing the ball into touch. Quick thinking Sheffield United striker Dean Saunders aimed an instant throw off the back of the retreating Musselwhite and curled the rebound into the net for a last minute winner. There was the usual arguments over if it was legal, but the goal stood. You could say Port Vale were completely thrown by it!

Well thats almost it again for another week. Next week is the 100th Blog, and I'm sure that in true Captain Jack style, you will be treated to some rather fun stuff! This week was a little tricky for us all with the new look Thursday night, but I'm sure that it will all settle down and get into a rhythm sooner rather than later. Just before I depart for another week can I just say well done to Portsmouth and Cardiff in reaching the FA Cup Final, and to Comply Or Die for winning me a nice little wad in the Grand National. Now here for you all is the answer to Every Picture Sings A Song, which of course was......

So that just leaves me to say a fond farewell to you all. As ever a big thank you for taking the time out to read this weeks blog again, and if you are a new reader, don't forget to come back to read next week and the next week and so on.....Until next time my freinds Ta Ra.

Beattie: We've had him for nearly a year now he really should of said something
Sid: He would if he could get a bloody word in!

This has been a Captain Jacks Tracks Production 2008

This post first appeared on Captain Jacks Tracks, please read the originial post: here

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Thursday 3rd April 2008


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