We know that Finding yourself after a Divorce can be difficult. No matter how long your relationship lasted, a divorce is a period of transition. During this transition, it’s important to find the value in yourself, learn what you want in life, in relationships, and more. We have the men’s guide to dating after divorce, but what if you are older? It may seem like a tough point in life, but you still have time for Finding Love after divorce at 50. Here are some tips on how to know when you’re really ready to date after a divorce.
You Know What You Want
Finding positivity in your divorce is the best way to sustain your happiness. After a divorce, you have time to think about what you really want from life. Statistically speaking, it’s likely that you’ve lived more than half of your life, so how do you want to spend the rest of your life? This answer probably isn’t going to automatically come to you. Over time, your wants and needs change, so what you thought you wanted from life in your 30’s may have totally shifted. Give yourself time to figure this out.
You Won’t Settle
With more than 50 years of life, you’ve experienced some things. What does this mean for finding love after divorce at 50? Well, with many experiences of life, you can probably understand the highs and lows. What led you to your lows? Avoid these things. What led you to your highs? Get more of that in your life.
Finding love after divorce at 50 can allow you to have a beautiful redefining of yourself. All of the things you wished you had in your marriage or the problems that you faced, you can be intentional in making sure you avoid those issues as much as you can. The reality is, humans are creatures of patterns, it’s likely you will want to go back to the same type of relationship you are used to. Don’t fall back into the person you were, start being the you that you wanted to be.
You’re Can Stop Being Superficial
We’ve been conditioned from childhood that we should “find the person you want to grow old with”, “the person who will love us when we’re old and wrinkly”. What if you’re growing old without the person who you thought would be there with you?
Some people realize this in their relationships and see their divorce as freeing and free-spirited. Others, especially if it came unexpectedly, have to take time to mourn the end of a marriage. You have to really take in that you won’t be spending the rest of your life with that person.
As we age, our bones get little more creaky, our skin starts to sag, and that “youthful glow” starts getting a little duller. This doesn’t diminish any type of beauty, it just sets a new standard. Finding love after divorce at 50 means looking deeper than skin and really finding love with someone who cherishes you for your hobbies and interests.
You Own Who You Are
When you’re 50+, you’re generally pretty set in your ways. You probably know who you are (or perhaps your divorce has helped you realize exactly who you do not want to be). You have your favorite chair to watch tv, a pretty set routine for your day, and you understand the weirdest/worst qualities about yourself. With the growth of age, it also comes the growth of wisdom.
You’ve lived 50 years watching the world change, and you’ve had to change with it. You know what you’re capable of. Finding love after divorce at 50 can be great. You can tell people, “this is who I am, this is where I’ve been, this is my past, this is the baggage I carry; I can work on myself, but this is who I am, take it or leave it.”
Be Open to Change
Your 50s are not the end. In a way, this is a new beginning for you. You’ve been building yourself and possibly your family for many years. When you’re dating after divorce at 50, you don’t always need someone who will partner with you to create stability like in your 30s. Also, you usually won’t need to think about having kids.
Some of the things you do need to consider are retirement (if you haven’t already entered retirement), the assistance of aging parents, adult/teenage children, etc. If you are coming out of a divorce from a long marriage, the last time you really dated could have been more than 10-30 years ago. You have to adjust your expectations with your reality, don’t limit yourself.
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