So, you’ve realized that it’s time to call it quits with someone. If you actually cared about them then it’s definitely going to be hard. You don’t want to hurt them, but you have to do what’s best for yourself. If you’ve been on the other side and been broken up with, you understand the pain of a breakup. On the other hand, you know that if you stayed it’s a waste of time. There’s a tricky line between being too nice and being too stern in a breakup. It may seem cliche, but there are times when your partner has done nothing wrong but it’s just time for your relationship to end. You want them to get the picture but you don’t want them to think you’ll get back together. Here are the best ways to give the “it’s not you, it’s me” talk.

When you’re being unfair by staying with them and leading them on

Sometimes, you just don’t feel it. There’s nothing wrong with that. But there is a problem when you know it’s going to end and your partner is totally oblivious. In this “it’s not you, it’s me” situation, the most important thing to do is to tell your partner when you feel like this. Don’t lead them on, they will be more upset by that than you actually breaking up with them.

If you’ve realized you want something else

The heart wants what the heart wants. If you want someone else, play it by ear. Sometimes it’s best to tell your partner this, sometimes it’s not (because people can be crazy). If you decide to tell them, let them know that it was never your intention to hurt them, (if it was, then this article isn’t for you). Know that you are going to hurt them, but sometimes you have to be selfish, and it will be best for both of you in the end.

The timing wasn’t right for you

Sometimes you get into a relationship and then realize that you shouldn’t have. You want to make things work but it’s just not the time for you. Timing is one of the most important factors in a relationship working. If you aren’t on the same page, timing-wise, there is nothing you can do about it. Sometimes you have personal problems going on, sometimes it’s a move across the country, and there are so many other reasons. In this “it’s not you, it’s me” situation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have feelings for your partner and you should let them know this. Life has a knack of getting in the way of things and sometimes there’s just nothing you can do about it.

If you’re not over something from your past

We’ve all see the TV shows and movies where the character is seemingly happy until a figure from their past shows up and shakes up their life. Well, this happens in real life too. Feelings can come out of nowhere and take over. Sometimes, you don’t even realize these feelings until you see someone or something that reminds you of the past. When this happens, it’s better to just let your new relationship go. This is definitely easier said than done, but it will be better for you in the long run if you figure out your feelings.

“It’s not you, it’s me” can sound super cliche, but sometimes that’s just the truth. Sometimes you have to end something even if everything is seemingly great. Your feelings can surprise you but it’s better to figure these out rather than lead someone along.

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