The Doctor shoves what looks like a rather large vibrator up a place where no man except her boyfriend should be allowed to go. Fuckin’ hell. I have to admit I wasn’t really expecting that.

My first reaction is to turn away and study the certificates on the wall.

‘Darling what are you doing?’ asks Nyla.

‘I just want to check that this man has the qualifications to do that to you’ I say.

He then moves the instrument around inside here while looking at her ovaries on a black and white TV screen. You know the NHS is in trouble when they can’t even fork out for a colour TV.

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