Going Back In Time To Be A Better Man Tomorrow
I have a bad addiction to technology, especially when it's small and fits into my hand. My wonderful Wife and I got into a bit of a heated discussion the other night about me ignoring her. I had no idea, I was just doing my thing, she was next to me. I had my blinders on and didn't notice that I was ignoring her.
I also have the bad habit of carrying my Phone with me, for everything, at anytime. Which means that everyone in my life feels ignored at any given point in the day. I don't want the people I love to feel ignored or that I don't want to be with them. I want them to feel loved.
Back to what my nights looked like, which was mostly the following... every night for about 2 weeks...
As you can see, the man is smiling and happy. The woman however is left "alone" thinking to herself (which is always dangerous), about how she used to feel loved by the man laying next to her. Thinking about his smug smile on his Stupid little face, why is he smiling? Making up stories in her head about how he must be looking at blonde sluts, because he "supposedly" drunkenly admitted he preferred blondes over brunettes.
Men, like I just said, IT IS INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS TO LEAVE A WOMAN TO THINK! You need to give her your undivided attention for longer than a minute every day. It shows that you care enough to stop everything you are doing just to Listen to her. It doesn't matter if it's about nothing, you need to listen. She listens to you go on about stupid shit, why shouldn't you listen to her go on about her stupid shit?
The Many Excuses
I had a handful of excuses for why I did what I did. I realized pretty quickly that I was full of it. Mostly because Candy Crush is not a "need to do" it is a want to do. This fact made the legitimate excuses of me being busy with my business mean a whole lot less. Another excuse I used was, "I need my phone next to me for an Alarm." While it is true I use it for an alarm, I could plug it in and ignore the phone. Needless to say I had a bunch of bad excuses.
The Two Solutions
Here are the two solutions that I came up with.
Ditching The Smartphone
I decided to do a little self inflicted punishment. I decided that I have an addiction and I need to break it. I need to ditch the smartphone, if only temporarily, and got back to a flip phone. I still have a phone to call people or for people to call me. That's all I NEED my phone to do. I think this will help me in making sure I don't ignore my family during the day and my wife at night. I will leave my smartphone down stairs to charge as well. Really cut this thing cold turkey.
Getting An Old School Alarm Clock
I went to Wal-Mart and purchased myself a cheap $10 alarm clock and set it up to wake me up. This is a long term solution to my excuse of needing my smartphone upstairs with me as an alarm clock. When I finally do give myself back my smartphone. I can easily leave it downstairs without dying from any anxiety attacks. Which is always a good thing.
The grand conclusion is... I only started doing this yesterday so I don't know if it will work. I am giving it my all because that is what I promised my wife and God on our wedding day.
That is your role as the man in the relationship. You might be the man, but that doesn't mean you are without faults. You need to listen to your partner when she has an issue with you. I am hoping that I become a better man for this in all aspects of my life. Wish me luck and I will update you later next month on the progress.