Episode 52: Iron Guts Kelly
Trapper: He’s a little past ill.
Hawkeye: He’s dead.
Colonel: He was fine a little while ago. What happened?
Trapper: Myocardial infarction….
Colonel: He died in action at the front. Leading his troops
against overwhelming odds, with shells bursting all
around him, until that one shell with his name on it
caught up with him. That’s how General “Iron Guts”
Kelly died….I got a pretty good idea how he really
went. It’s got to appear as though he died more
meaningfully. There’s a Zen saying: Just as a clay
jar will sooner or later crumble while being lowered
into a well, so old generals must eventually perish in
battle. All you have to do is sign the death
certificate. I’ll fill in the details….History demands
that the general die a glorious death.
When General Iron Guts Kelly visits the 4077 and dies in Major Houlihan’s tent, his aid creates a cover story to hide the real cause of death and contrive a more heroic death for the General by organising for his body to be driven to a front line battle.