BRYCE ON LIFE
– It’s easy; just check your mail box.
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Normally, we see signs of Aging in the mirror: a new wrinkle here and there, some more gray hair, drier skin, and for men, possibly a receding hairline. Recently though, I have discovered a more precise way of detecting advanced aging, and you need go no further than your Mail Box where the Post Office delivers the bad news routinely.
In my case, I recently received a brochure in the Mail from a nearby assisted living facility who suggested now is the time to move in. Frankly, I was surprised by the literature as I am comfortable in my home and have no intention of moving at this time. This got me thinking though as to how they got my name and what triggered my inclusion on their mailing list. I suspect it originated from county records or perhaps from my wife’s untimely death a couple of years ago. Either way, they believe it is time for me to think about downsizing, being put in a small room and stare at the walls. No thank you.
Aside from this brochure, I have noted other hints of aging through the post office:
* I routinely get offers to buy my house. I suspect they believe I am too old to maintain my current residence, and they want me to move along. Sorry, but I am just fine where I’m at, thank you.
* Hearing aid brochures are also common. I get the feeling if you are past the age of 70 it is a requirement you must wear them. The same is true of medic-alert devices should you take a fall, which is actually something to take seriously as we grow older.
* I’ve also been receiving several invitations to get a free lunch from people who want to re-invest my portfolio. This somewhat confuses me as you should have something planned earlier on, even if you have minimal savings. So, why should I change horses in mid-stream this late in the game? As an aside, I’m told the lunch is “delicious,” which causes me to wonder how they prepare their baloney.
* I also hear from funeral homes who urge people, “It’s time to start planning for the inevitable.” Coupled with this is burial insurance, which is nothing more than a term life insurance policy. If you’ve already got a life insurance policy, you obviously don’t need burial insurance, but they try to sucker you anyway.
* Reverse mortgage promotions are still around, but this is done more on television than through the post office.
* There is also Medicare supplement requests, attorneys hoping to update your will, and a long list of charities begging for your money. I try to stay off these lists as they can fill up your mail box rather quickly. I’m still getting requests from charities my mother supported. As for me, I try to give money anonymously so I can avoid additional junk mail.
The mail we receive is not so much about how to enjoy life in our declining years, just how to get at your money. For example, I no longer receive subscription requests for publications such as Playboy, Sports Illustrated, or Architectural Digest. Instead, its AARP Magazine, Reader’s Digest, and Martha Stewart Living.
I also no longer receive much in the way of travel brochures to exotic lands. Instead, I see flyers featuring bus rides to nearby casinos to spend my Social Security money. Sorry, but I’ll pass; I still know how to get to Las Vegas on my own.
I guess what bothers me the most about the mail is that it assumes I have one foot in the grave which I resent. Yes, we’re all cognizant of the passing of time, but I do not need it shoved in my face every day by the post office.
To solve the problem, I believe I’ll cut a large hole in the bottom of my mail box and put a trash can under it. After all, this is where this nonsense belongs.
Keep the Faith!
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Tim Bryce is an author, freelance writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 40 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at [email protected]
Copyright © 2021 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.
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