When a person does not get desirable result he/she terms it as Failure. Let me admit to fact that failures hurt, it does not feel good. Actually they don't go down well. I hate failures and rejections too. It feels bad. But failures happen and everyone encounters it.We all have faced failures in our life. It happens to all of us.
Failures are set backs. They come in the way of our success. Feeling bad about it is absolutely fine. Let's all agree that we all wand to be successful and apart from it there could be many reasons for hating failures. Some of them are listed below:
Out of Shame
Fear of being isolated
Fear of being an example of failure
We fear failure so much that sometime we tend to ignore the efforts put in. For Example,
During exams some of us do not study, do not pay attentions to class lectures but while results are being declared we want to score passing marks.
The reason for hoping good marks are not for the efforts that we put in but for the reason listed above. My parents will scold, my friends and relatives will make fun and so on. Success or failure reflects the efforts made by a person in particular assignment which could be school examination, college examination, interview etc.
If one puts efforts and fail. It's Fine. But if there are no efforts then it is not fine. The reason why I say this is because you can learn from your failure through various methods.
And much more
If one failed without putting any efforts that means either failure happened because of non-seriousness or over-confidence.And this attitude is the biggest barrier in the way to Success. One need to understand the need of hard work and Success. Life is precious and we have one of it. We all dream and fulfilling them is what we should aim at. We all have our own dreams, some of us work hard to achieve and some of us quit.As I always say "You cannot be defeated it is only that you gave up just before being the winner".
Success is leaning from your mistakes and never repeating them. Below are some ways to overcome failure and move on.
1) Failures are not Bad.
Remember, failure is a temporary phase and can be converted into Success if used as a tool for improvement. Success is fixing the mistakes which led to failure. I totally agree that failure can lead to mental pressure as even if you take it as a lesson, people will continuously talk about it and keep reminding you that you failed. But you need to understand that today's failure will lay the foundation of tomorrow's Success.
2) Talk to Yourself.
Talking to yourself is an important process in overcoming failures. As I wrote before that people will remind you of your failure again and again. So talking to yourself play a major role. Remind yourself that it is an temporary yet very important phase. It can either make you or break you. You can definitely pull it off. Remind yourself that this is not end of everything. Overcoming failure is the first step towards Success. So it is very important for you to explain it to yourself than anyone else.
3) Take Time.
Failures are difficult to handle and overcoming them is not an easy job. You are reminded of your failure again and again. It exhausts you mentally. Feeling bad about your failure is fine but important is learning from the mistakes. Now, that you have spoken to yourself, do no jump in the evaluation and learning process. Though you might have accepted failure but somewhere it still hurts.The guilt and shame could be still inside you. The guilt and shame can become barrier in the way of learning as you could get defensive about your failure. You need to be honest when evaluating your failure. Therefore, sit and relax. Do something that you love. Spend sometime for yourself. Make your mind free. Remember it is you failure and it will be a learning for you.And that takes me to the next point.
4) Be Honest.
Now that you have spoken to yourself and took time to relax. It's time to learn and make sure that the mistakes do not happen again. Before you start evaluating remember you failed because something was not right. And to evaluate "that something" you need to be true to yourself.
5) Do not make excuses.
Do not make failure your weakness instead convert it into strength.
Failure can help you identify your weaknesses, polish existing skills and develop new skills. Let's do a Case study where Amit and Vivek failed their examination.
Amit was very upset and decided to perform better and he evaluated himself. He concluded to below points
I failed because of
- Lack of concentration
- Inattentive during class lectures
- Time Table not followed
- Bad Handwriting
- Writing speed to be increased.
Thus, improved his grade.
On other hand Vivek concluded to below points
- Questions were out of syllabus.
- Question paper was tough compared to last year.
- Marking was strict.
Remember failures when you give 100% is learning. Accept failure because it can help you. But do not over think. Failures are part of our life and that does not mean that you give up. Stay away from negativity, it is very important. Respect yourself and have faith in yourself. But do not forget that there is a very thin line between confidence and over-confidence.