A major part of being self-aware goes to remembering where you came from and how things looked to you before you became a leader. Another part is being sensitive to the perspectives of others once you are in your leadership role. Still another piece is coming to grips with some realities that affect other people’s perspectives, and so must affect your own.
To start with, not everyone likes you. That matters, but maybe not for the reasons you think. People won’t like you for lots of irrelevant reasons. Maybe you got the job they wanted, or the job that their friend wanted. Maybe they think you slept your way to the top. Maybe they don’t like the team that you are leading, or the team from which you came. Or maybe they don’t like your significant other.
None of that matters. What matters is that any or all of those perspectives should be kept in play as you deal with the daily vicissitudes of leadership. You might be surprised at how easy it is sometimes to figure out what the perspective is that is causing someone to be difficult. You need to listen to what team members say and how they say it. That list of reasons I just gave is not hypothetical. They are all things that I have personally encountered. Some of them can be dealt with. Forthright discussions are helpful either in resolving perspective issues or at least in putting them on the table. In the latter case, there might not be resolution, but you can level the playing field if everyone is on honest terms. Yogi Berra put it elegantly: “So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.”
To repeat, listen to your team—what they say and how they say it. Pay attention, because they are. By that I mean they are listening to everything you say and how you couch your comments and responses to people and situations. This is never more true than when you are wrong.
What? You, wrong? You betcha. Especially early in your leadership when you are still learning the ropes. These early mistakes are crucial because everyone is watching to see how you react. Do you blame others? Do you mope? Do you pitch a fit? Or do you maybe use your misstep as a learning/teaching experience for your team and yourself. Guess which I option I suggest. Start with a good dose of perspective switching.
