Maturity doesn’t come naturally with age, well not for most people. We see many Mature 6-year-olds and immature 80-year-olds. We get it, “adulating is hard”. What with incessant bills to pay, fending for yourself with no one to count on, relationship troubles that seems to be pulling at the seams of one’s sanity, mountains of financial predicaments looming on the horizon, and what not! You have outgrown your “carefree-whatever” lifestyle and are expected to become a responsible functioning adult, but you don’t know how! Know that maturity isn’t about finding a corporate job, growing a mustache, or drinking coffee instead of Horlicks for your morning kick. If you want to renew your perspective on life and want people to actually respect you, here are a few tips on how to grow up into a mature person!

Stop Blaming Other People

Making unnecessary excuses and always finding someone to blame when things go south is an easy way to hide your faults or run away from accountability. Learning to own up to your mistakes is part of growing up maturely. Blaming others isn’t going to help you overcome the challenges you are facing or solve the dilemma at hand. Placing blame may seem to be the easiest way to put off an important task, but it’s never going to help you in the long run.

Whenever you choose to do something, remember that you are responsible for the outcome that comes out of it. You need to keep in mind that whether the outcome proves to be good or bad, you were the instigator. When something unexpected happens, a mature person ponders over what went wrong and how to do things differently next time, and learn from their mistakes.

Don’t Nag, Whine, Or Complain

Are you someone who likes to play the victim instead of actually putting your feet down and finding a solution? Cursing life, whining and seeking sympathy, and stamping your feet look childish and make you come across as a weak person. Immature people like to complain about everything all the time instead of fixing anything. You may feel better after a good rant but imagine the negativity and stress you are adding to people’s life. When you start believing that you have no control over anything that happens in your life, you resort to accepting that you can’t do anything about it. You look immature. The day you give up this negative habit of whining and complaining, you would find the peace of mind that mature people enjoy.

 Allow Others To Be Who They Are

Mature people let others be who they are. They never force their personal, artistic, political, or preferential opinion over anyone. Don’t keep trying to change people’s perspective to get them on the same page as you or push those around you to see through your lenses. Sure, you have a right to have your own opinion about life, which may not align with everyone, but you need to stop proving to people that you are right. People are different and you would do well to accept this simple fact.

Don’t Run From Your Obstacles or Consequences

When you run away from obstacles or from a perceived negative outcome, misfortune will inevitably find you. When you learn how to deal with situations with maturity, you will be able to anticipate the challenges and difficulties you may face in the future and take preemptive measures to prevent their occurrence. Until you have the courage to accept what is coming, you will never be able to take the reins of your life.

Avoid Indulging In Gossip and Rumors

You can seriously harm people by indulging in backstabbing, rumor-mongering, and idle gossip. Even if you don’t mean to be malicious, you can still tarnish their reputation. Mature people are mindful of others and don’t do anything which can harm other’s feelings. Even if you are not directly involved in gossip, don’t encourage it either. If someone tries to indulge you in idle gossiping, nip them in the bud. A good test to determine if something is indeed a gossip is to ask yourself if you would like others to know this about you. If not, then don’t spread it about others.

Have Confidence in Yourself

Never be ashamed of your oddities or quirks, even if others don’t approve. As long as your behavior isn’t causing harm, you should never be afraid to express your individuality. Mature people don’t second guess themselves or try to be something that they are not just to seek the approval of others. Most importantly, you need to shush that inner critic and avoid negative thoughts about yourself. If you lack self-confidence, hone skills and hobbies that you are good at if you want to truly feel good about yourself.

Communicate like an Adult

First things first, you should never let your emotions get the better of you. Don’t overreact to things that don’t matter. Every time you are upset, stop and analyze your response before you say anything. When you’re enraged or about to overreact, take 10 seconds to calm yourself down and if you must say something, use a tone calm and justify what you are feeling. People enjoy provoking those who have a short temper, so don’t let them get away with it. Also, avoid swearing at all costs since using curse words is disrespectful and a sign of immaturity.

Secondly, adults use assertive techniques and behavior, were they express their own feelings and needs clearly, while also being active listeners when others do the same. Mature people know how to stand up for themselves without resorting to cockiness, arrogance, and aggression. No matter how conscientious you are, you may end up hurting someone inadvertently, so mature people are ready to apologize and swallow your pride whenever necessary.

In addition, you talk as much with your body language as with your words. For instance, slouching makes others think that you would rather be anywhere else, while crossing your arms in front of you can tell others that you’re not interested in what they’re saying. Similarly, don’t roll your eyes or stare at the floor when someone is talking to you, and don’t fidget. Stand up straight, with your chest out and head parallel to the floor.

Listen To Advice

Newly grownups are not as knowledgeable about life as they would like to believe. This is why it wouldn’t hurt listen to more experienced people every once in a while, even though you “have it all under control.” Surely not everyone gives sound advice, but listening to how others dealt with the same problem as you are facing, might give you ideas that you didn’t have before. Especially, coming from people who have “been there, done that”, a good nugget of wisdom is sometimes all it takes to get you out of tough spots. However, when it comes to decision-making, you have the final call. Use the advice work your way to a decision you are comfortable with.

Become Emotionally Intelligent

Life is going to be full of problems. The acceptance of this inevitability allows mature people to keep a cool head and work with a problem-solving approach during those difficult moments. You need to become emotionally intelligent enough to comprehend that life’s difficulties actually determine whether we will become a failure or a success. Life’s challenges bring out our hidden wisdom and courage. It is the ability to walk bravely through difficulties that distinguishes mature people from immature ones. Adversity and challenges help us grow emotionally and mentally. As Benjamin Franklin says “Those things that hurt, instruct.” This is the very reason that mature people welcome difficulties with open arms.

Maintain A positive Attitude

A positive attitude is synonymous with maturity. Mature people have a firm belief that things will eventually work out in the end and all their persistence, patience, and hard work will pay off. This perception actually helps mature people make every situation a win-win experience. This is why mature people are able to keep calm and in a state of harmony at all time. They also know how to recognize and cherish mutually beneficial relationships and stay out of toxic ones.

Accept both Compliments and Criticism With Maturity

It’s to smile and accept a compliment with grace but can you swallow criticism with a grain of salt? Whenever someone criticizes a mature person, they say, “thank you, I’ll definitely think it over,” instead of taking it personally. Learn to keep a positive attitude around criticism; perhaps the person is thinking about your best interests and is trying to help you. However, even if the reproach is unfair or uncalled for, just think that the other person is making him or herself feel better by tearing you down, and leave it at that. Don’t spend too much time criticizing yourself because of how others perceive you either. However, if someone hurts your feelings, do let them know politely that you didn’t take well to it.

Continue To Expand Your Knowledge

When it comes to expanding your knowledge base, know that learning does not end at school. There are a lot of pursuits that you discover when you step into your professional and adult life. Know that adult life is a lot about self-reliance, so it would be really helpful to learn about every facet of life whenever you get the chance, especially information that may come in handy when you are stuck in a rut. So don’t shut yourself off from new information and life skills, because you think that you already “know it all.”

Stop Asking For Attention

When you constantly take over conversations and pipe in with your own opinions instead of giving other people a chance to talk, you come across as immature and disrespectful. Yes, you may have a more interesting take on things, or a more amazing anecdote to tell, but give others to chance to finish talking. Unless you want others to see you as a self-centered, pompous, immature person, learn to show a genuine interest in the interests and experiences of others. For instance, instead of launching into a detailed chronicle of how adventurous your weekend was, try asking your colleagues what they did over the weekend. You might also learn something new or develop a new respect for someone based on what you hear.

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