Okay, kiddos. How deep down the rabbit hole can we go?

I’ve always had a passing interest in numerology, but really only to the extent it applies to Tarot. How it applies to the… everything of everything, on the other hand, has pretty much eluded me ever since I began studying my Craft.

So, it is by no accident that I discover 2016 – the year I’ve determined to reclaim the bits of me lost to the annals of my own personal history – is a 9 year. From my (limited) understanding of the more practical applications of numerology, our lives occur in cycles of 9 years, and 2016 is the end of one of those cycles.

I especially love how it lines up with the fact that 2015 was the first year I enjoyed the work of Janet Connor, and had the wonderful experience of being a part of a closed group with her going through her book The Lotus and the Lily. After the week of preparation, you start looking back before you can look forward. It also reiterates the idea I encountered earlier in 2015 in her book Writing Down Your Soul that everything is connected and nothing is separate.

What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
T.S. Eliot

2016 is a year universally set for transformation – if we can let it happen.

Growth of any kind requires change. Spiritual growth requires change on a very primal, vulnerable level. Our spirit is what sets the foundation for everything else in our life. Where our head’s at, where our heart’s at, dictates everything else. When we make deep, intentional change at the core of our being, that sets the stage for massive shake-ups in our conscious, physical world. The implications, simply put, are terrifying. If you’re a visual person, I give you the following example:

So… something so small can create something proportionally huge in a very short span of time.

I would know. I’ve grown the things before ;)

To take the visual even further – what has to happen to that tiny seed in order to create something so large? It has to change, and crack, and split open. The shoot has to push up through layers and layers of dirt and darkness before finally breaking through the surface to see the sun. All the while depending solely on the nutrients and moisture in the soil even as it displaces it. Destruction for creation.

So, What is Spiritual Growth Supposed to Be Like?

I would like to think that Spiritual Growth is a life-long thing. Our spirits are very ephemeral things, so I don’t imagine us with our conscious minds and physical bodies could ever completely grasp the complexities of our own spirits. Most of us get indoctrinated at a very young age into what’s “real” and what’s not, and what is allowable to be taken on faith alone, and what’s not. I find it to be a rare thing to encounter someone who actively tries to break away from those teachings and forge their own way.

Spiritual Growth is Scary

Like I mentioned above – our spirits are the most basic, vulnerable parts of our being. It is what makes us who we are, and is one of the few things science has yet to be able to explain. (I daresay this is why brain transplants are doomed to be failures). Without our spirits, our bodies and minds are worthless. So, no, Spiritual growth isn’t scary.

It’s downright terrifying.

I believe some of the most profound instances of spiritual growth aren’t when anything is changing, but when our spirit is revealing itself to us. When we are given the opportunity to know things about ourselves we might not ever get a chance to learn about otherwise. What that has the potential to do is most often what prevents us from seeing what we need to see. We all have preconceived notions of who we are, or who we would like to be.  What if what we discover in our own self exploration and revelation is something completely different?

In going through the work with Janet and the group, I came to a startling realization. For me, it wasn’t enough to let go of the process, or the outcome. I had to completely let go of the idea of who I thought I am – with the realization that I am not yet complete. To be complete and whole would be to be wholly aware of my spirit – which I am not. I had to place my trust in what I have lived and experienced so far, in the people who are drawn to me, and the child I am raising, as they are all reflections of the “me” that I can’t clearly see. I had to trust that, in order to have all of the love and wonderful people I have in my life, I had to have a lightness at my innermost that drew it all to me.

Spiritual Growth is Transformative

Sometimes, life changes can cause profound revelations that enable us to open our eyes and see things differently. Often, we see the world around us differently. If we’re lucky, seeing the world differently leads us to turn our eyes inward, and see ourselves differently as well. Thus, the door is open for greater awareness and growth.

This is when the real life changing events occur. The more connected we are with who we are in our spirit, the more our lives reflect it. Each little piece revealed to us reveals a layer to reality and a level of potential that wasn’t there before. Love, family, money, home… all of these things are intimately connected to how we consciously feel at our center – so when our perception of us changes at our center, it acts like a stone in a pond, and the changes ripple outward.

The most magical thing I have ever experienced is when my own ripples intersected the ripples of someone else I didn’t even know at the time, and seeing how those ripples caused by our own awareness caused a change in each other’s lives.

When one creates a personal universe of joy, all are lifted. As your life becomes sweeter, you kiss the world.

Janet Conner, The Lotus and the Lily

Spiritual Growth is All-Encompassing

Something that goes as deep as spirituality inevitably will touch everything that comprises our lives. It’s what makes the potential for awareness and growth so terrifying. The more aware we are of ourselves, the more our awareness of the world around us changes. Our mental health is completely dependent upon our spiritual state (or lack thereof), and our physical experience is forever changed by our self-image. Our self-image is dependent on how well acquainted we are with our own beauty and divinity. Which goes back to our spiritual and mental state.

It’s all connected. You cannot expect to awaken to one part of yourself without awakening to it all. This is why spiritual growth is so scary – but it is also incredibly empowering and has the potential to be life-changing.

Filed under: The Pagan Experience Tagged: 2016, dig deep