So you’re one of the chosen ones. You’ve been picked to be a Bridesmaid. This is excellent news, and you get the privilege of attending lots of events and fun activities in the run-up to the big day. Obviously, you’re already awesome, otherwise the bride wouldn’t have picked you, but we thought we’d give you a few pointers on how to be the best bridesmaid.
The hen party
The hen party is a huge responsibility of the bridesmaids, so it’s essential you get it right!
Do
- Make sure it’s audience-appropriate. If she wants her grandma there, be considerate and tone down any plans for rudeness that you have – and be on your best behaviour. Maybe don’t go skydiving either.
- Make sure you’re giving the bride the hen do she wants, not just the hen do stereotype you see in American Rom-Coms. If she loves pampering, don’t take her on a mud race. If she says she doesn’t want a stripper, take her word for it. That’s her decision, not yours.
Don’t
- Do something wildly expensive, unless all the people who are invited can make it. Something affordable can be just as memorable – she’ll be happy to have the ladies she loves in one room.
- Fail to prepare. It’s the little surprises throughout the hen do that will really resonate with her and make her hen do memorable. Take dare cards, come prepared with hen do games, get the cheesy t-shirts, make her a scrapbook — you know the score.
Do
- Think of the other bridesmaids. You’ll come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s not about you, so when you’re picking and adding your input, make sure you remember what body shapes you have to dress. It’s important you get a bridesmaid dress that make you all look good.
- Give constructive feedback. You might not have the final say but if you say why you don’t like something and make suggestions of why you’d prefer another color or style politely, you’re more likely to be listened to.
Don’t
- Moan. She will have no intention of making you look bad but remember that your dress is part of a wider theme, so there is only so much say you have.
- Agree to something unwearable. If you can’t walk in heels, make it clear. If you will be constantly tugging at a strapless dress, advise that this mightn’t be a good choice.
And no, we don’t mean the commitment of the married couple – we mean your commitment to the role of bridesmaid!
Do
- Go to anything you’re asked and make sure you’re 100% invested. You’ll need to be at dress fittings and rehearsals, and pick up that panicked 3am phone call when she’s freaking out about the favors.
- Start saving in advance. If you’re planning on attending everything (and you should be), you’ll need to pay your way and that includes the hen do, a wedding gift, and maybe your dress, shoes, hair and makeup, depending on your bride’s budget.
Don’t
- Over-promise and end up under-delivering. If you don’t think you’ll be able to give it your all – you’ve got too much on your plate or an over-demanding job – you should politely decline. She will understand and appreciate your honesty.
- Be a stranger. Attending all events will be a lot easier if you’re comfortable around the other bridesmaids and your bride will have a better time too. You’ll have to negotiate between family members, school friends, university friends and work bridesmaids, so make a greater effort to be sociable and you could have a friend for life.
