Having your heart broken is almost gut-wrenchingly awful as falling and staying in Love is blissful, but it doesn’t have to be a lottery that you have to be fearful of. Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to know if your love is true or not.

For best results, keep a note of how many you score and check what your tally means at the bottom of the page.

1. You Both Give As Much As You Get

And not in a plate throwing competition (true love – you’d be surprised, right), but in love. And your “love tank,” if I may borrow a concept from Dr. Gary Chapman, never seems to run dry, because you’re receiving just as much. And as we all know, shared love is the best kind!

2. You’re So Happy All The Time

There’s a consistent half-smile plastered on your face, a radiance in your skin and an overall aura that makes some hate you, but causes most to want to be you. And that’s always a good thing.

3. You Forgive Easily

In a Relationship that’s not quite all there, little things can balloon into heated arguments, but when your significant other – that gorgeous devil – forgets to bring home the cheese, it’ll be pasta in red sauce and not white. Simple.

4. You Can’t Stay Mad

Well, let’s say they forgot to bring home the pasta as well. Infuriating, especially considering your spaghetti loving guests are expected within the hour, but a sheepish husband and tut-tutting wife, as well as a pizza takeout make for an equally compelling and enjoyable alternative.

5. It Hurts More Than It Makes You Angry

Still, we’re human… and traffic, jobs and life itself can take its toll. Sometimes people forget more than just groceries, sometimes they offend us. And it’s not so much anger than it is hurt that we experience. We thought they cared. We do.

6. You Make Sacrifices, Big And Small

Like what? Well, like moving to a new city for your SO’s fancy new job or not moving to a new city for yours. Or the fact that you replace all the milk in the house with liquefied almonds or soy (a real life, true love story). Doing thing like these can sometimes take a toll on your sanity, but you do it anyway out of love.

7. You Put In The Hours

Marriage is work. If things don’t get done, the entire arrangement begins to fall apart. Shopping for your SO’s annoyingly hard to find snoring medication or favourite – only available in two locations in India – face cream isn’t pleasant, but when you’re in love you do it almost gaily. Then there are the kids (again), the dishes, that thing that the plumber said about the sink, the landlord’s problem with Snoopy’s paws on the wooden flooring and the fact that your prized roses just won’t bloom even though the kind gardener next door sold you high nutrient khaad for 200 rupees.

Being with the one you love, adore and want to spend the rest of your life with is the onlything that makes the whole ordeal not merely bearable, but a bargain.

8. Revenge Is Best Served In The Movies

Would anyone who truly loved their partner ever conceivably think of hurting them? Not a chance.

9. Promises, Unbroken

Okay, so some things slip through, especially when they’re uttered to a fidgety, wide-awake partner at 3 in the morning, but others, especially the bigger, more meaningful and impactful promises (like being there to pick up your SO’s mother at the airport at 5:00 am on a Sunday) are the ones that really seal the deal.

10. #We

Things are happening for you in your relationship if you and your partner (it has to be both for obvious reasons) start talking about current and future plans and issues with a “we” instead of an “I” mindset and language. This is important for you, and also for others who will take you more seriously, helping the relationship in the long run.

11. Eager Ears & Helping Hands

Okay, not just hands. When your love has something on their mind from work, family or anything else, you’re always there to lend them an ear, and if they so desire, to help come up with a solution. That’s a beautiful thing and a pretty darn good indicator of lasting, true love.

12. Pride In Your Partner

They just cleared the CAT in one shot? The same exam you’ve been trying to conquer for the last four years now? If the emotion you’re going through is unbridled joy and a burning sense of pride then your relationship is in good shape.

13. Thoughtfulness

You think of how things would make your love feel before actually going through with them, with your SO doing the same. This is the kind of stuff that sees love go the distance. We’re not talking about asking them whether to pick up Coke or Thums Up at the store, although that works too.

14. Woe Is Me, Not You

You’re willing to suffer to see them happy. Case in point: Evenings spent watching TV with the mother-in-law.

15. Quitting Smoking

Or changing yourself in any way, because let’s face it “Why should I?” is a pretty good reason to not do anything of the sort. Still, if you find yourself actually willing to make a change in yourself in order to make the relationship better then just think about that for a second!

16. Let’s Hang Out!

Because it’s so much fun! Even though there’s absolutely nothing at all to do, the lights are out and there’s only Orange juice in the fridge. A shared glass of OJ and some cuddling is good.

It’s the most fun ever, even though you’re not actually doing anything.

17. The Laws Of Attraction

They still apply. If you get butterflies in your tummy watching your sexy SO put on their jeans, you’re in luck, and in good shape.

18. Let’s Chat

Talking is good, and even if one or the other occasionally asks you to shut up, they always come back. Talking about things that are not so pleasant – recommended, healthy and a sign of love based on solid foundations.

19. “I don’t really…” “It’s too bland isn’t it?”

If you know what they’re thinking and are completing their sentences then, well… I mean, get a hobby you two, unless you’ve been together 25 years.

20. You Know Them Inside Out

Knowing what they’re thinking isn’t the only thing. You know the little details like how much pepper they like on their sausages, and the fact that they always, always prefer the left side of the bed, whether at home, at a hotel or in your parent’s guest bedroom. Hmm…

21. Hold Hands, Not Grudges

The little things like holding hands in public (wherever appropriate), a peck on the cheek at the airport subduing thoughts like “We can’t kiss here, this is India!” and all the other little things mean one thing – love is abound.

22. Trusting Twosome

“I’ll be home late from work.” Do you know how many people, both men and women , completely freak out whenever they’re faced with that statement? Especially if news of new secretaries, interns or young recruits was made available?

If you’re not in the above camp then it can only be a very healthy sign.

23. No Pedestals, Only Priorities

He puts you first, you do the same with him. Surprisingly, these commissions don’t diminish our own enjoyment, they increase it exponentially.

24. Actions>Words

Talk is cheap, and most have been talked to too much in their lives. If your love acts out on the things they’re vocal about then good for you.

25. Every Day Is Filled With Possibilities

Surprises are fun, but more than that, they’re an indicator that the spark is alive and well. Sure, after 10 years together you know there’s going to be something happening on your birthday, but the random appearance of two concert/match/cruise tickets is a nice touch, always.

26. One Big Happy Family

So you’ve met the parents and you get along well, or not. Doesn’t matter. The fact that the both of you cling pointedly to your partners as you introduce them to mom, dad, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and that one acquaintance from class 5 you’ve not seen in 15 years is beautiful and more than enough.

27. You Know All The Answers

Birthdays. Anniversaries. “What song was our first dance to?” “Where’d we meet?” For some lucky couples, these aren’t trick questions, they’re a trip down memory lane.

28. When “I Love You” Aren’t Just 3 Words At The End Of A Phone Call

Sometimes your love just grabs you and assures you that you mean the world to them on a holiday that they arranged. Yes, that’s extravagant. Yes, you’re worth it (to them, it’s what counts) and yes, that’s true love.

29. Spiritual, Mutual Prosperity

Being in love is a springboard to what Abraham Maslow called “self actualization,” better known to us as being the best you you can be. Having a rock solid relationship, and a loving, supportive and real partner can actually lead one to strive for and achieve things they thought they didn’t have the time, skill or support for.

30. You Have A Siege Mentality

Trouble in the family? The general secretary of the colony you live in having woes with Snoopy walking in the yard? Facing harassment on the street? You and your lover assume a “us versus the world” position and mount a combined defence that’s impregnable and crushes everything in its sight until things go back to normal. Unity.

Loyalty isn’t an option. Cheating? Unthinkable!

31. You Can Be Two Honest Adults

If your relationship isn’t based on lies, withheld facts and half truths on anything from your past, your mental sanctity and even your financial habits, then it’s a good start (and one that many more couples don’t get). If then, through the course of your relationship, you can continue to be honest with each other, never trying to use “honesty” as a tool to hurt the other, then that’s even better. In fact, it’s the kind of thing that stops exasperated men and women sharing their woes emotionally with friends, acquaintances and co-workers… and we all know how that ends up.

Tallying The Scores: Lasting Love Or Tragedy In The Making?

Disclaimer: We’re not professional, certified counsellors or psychologists. But considering you’re unlikely to ever see one of those, let’s move on.

1-7: This is not a good sign, but you already knew that. I mean, there are 31 items on the list! Either your relationship is brand new or it’s not much of a loving relationship at all.

8-15: Let me guess, you married early. He is a good but serious man, who when he’s not away working on business, likes to occasionally spend time with the kids and even more occasionally – when the two of you have time – you do things on a 1-1 basis. The foundations are there, maybe, but there’s a lack of spark.

16-25: Most loving couples fall into this category, the missing points are often a result of not knowing any better, and a misguided sense of empathy rather than anything more sinister. Taking the time to connect with your lover even more – and not for the clear want of any kind of benefit – will be most… beneficial.

25-30: Out of everyone that ever meets you, 60 percent want to be you, 20 percent can’t stand your guts and 20 percent want to know your gym routine or morning beauty ritual hoping that some of your brilliance rubs off on them. Your relationship is special, you know it and you don’t take it or your partner for granted. Congratulations, the both of you deserve it.

30+: They wrote a Bollywood script for your relationship once, but it was rejected for defying reality.

Image Source: Istock

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