When a woman gets Married, she is not getting married just to her groom but to his entire family. Marriage is a holy communion not between two people but between two families which is nurtured by love, care and affection for each other. The traditional Indian norms of the society which is heavily influenced by the philosophy of Manu believes that once a woman is married, she is no longer liable towards her parents but now she is the complete responsibility of her husband and her new family after marriage.
Once she goes through the Saat Pheres and wears Sindoor and Mangalsutra, she is no longer the Daughter of her parents but gets the new identity that is provided by that of her husband and his family. Her surname changes and in some cases, her first name is also changed and she is given a completely new identity by her in-laws. But does all this changes the fact that she is her parents’ daughter or that they have some core responsibilities towards her even after she is married? No!
In fact, once the daughter is married, the responsibility of her parents increase further. It is a beginning of her new life in a new family. She has to adjust and compromise with so many things and unfamiliar people to be accepted heartily as the ideal daughter-in-law of their family. During these testing times, she needs the constant support and encouragement of her parents to meet the expectations that people have from her.
The Support And Advice Of Her Parents To Start A New Life
The never ending support of her parents provides her with the relief that if anything goes wrong also, she has her parents for guidance and support and to put her at the right path that will be beneficial for her. They are the ones whom she can trust fully amidst the strangers who might be judging her at every step or decision she takes. As the saying goes, “A son’s a son till he gets a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter all your life.” The love and the care of her parents are always needful for her and no parent should jerk off their responsibilities towards her close the doors on the face of their daughter just because she is married now and have a family of her own.
To Fight Domestic Abuse And Violence
In many instances, in case of the Indian household, the women keep shut about their pain or sorrow, the domestic violence or emotional abuse just because she feels alone and do not find the support of her parents and siblings. Already majority of the married women are financially dependent on their husbands because they are housewife, doing unpaid labour day-in and day-out. On top of that, the indifference of her parents and their unwillingness to intervene in the personal matters of their daughter’s family further isolates her.
To Always Have Her Confidante
The caring touch of the mother’s hand or the firm support of her father, no matter what happens is always needed by the daughter, whether married or not. Who will she confide her fears to; who will she tell her problems if not her supportive mother who understands her the best? Who will she look up for support and justice if not her father and a sibling if she is not treated properly in her husband’s household? Every step she takes to go ahead in life, she needs the support and assurance of her parents that even if the whole world misunderstands and blames her, she has her parents for courage and motivation to on in life.
To Always Have Someone To Fall Back To
Parents need to empower their daughters so that they can fight the social evils of domestic violence, dowry pressures and other oppressions on women. With the support of their parents, the daughters can fight back confidently and show the world that they are not the weaker sex. Parents should understand that if your daughter is in a difficulty, it is their first responsibility to take her out of that situation than to worry about what the society will think or what will happen to their prestige or image in the society. Parents need to prioritize their daughters above what the society thinks. If one parent follows this and it is taken as an inspiration, soon the time will come that the viewpoints of the society itself will change. It is we who make the society, the microcosm is foundation of the macrocosm and so that change should start from within.
The Thin Line Between Parental Intervention And Interference
Now one must not confuse between intervention and interference. In some instances of our daily lives, we sometimes see this also that the parents of the daughter are over-anxious and immensely interfering which causes a rift in the household of the daughter. The situation gets even more complicated if the girl belongs to a rich background and the family of the guy comes from humble origins. The indulgent and over-pampering attitude of the parents towards their married daughter can create clashes in their otherwise perfectly fine household where again it is the daughter who suffers, knowingly or unknowingly.
Striking The Perfect Balance Amidst Everything
As parents, they need to strike a balance and understand whether they are intervening or interfering in the household of the daughter. If your daughter complains about domestic violence, physical or mental abuse, taunts and tortures, dowry pressures and humiliation if she is not able to give birth to life, you need to stand up and intervene in the matter. But you will also have to understand when the situation is grave and when she is just complaining because she is angry on her husband or in-laws and things can be sorted out by them with a little bit of advice and solicitation.
Ultimately, we can only say that your daughter will always need you, your support, appreciation, care, affection and love even when she is happily married. Keep that door of your heart open for her always, no matter what, so that she finds you as her confidante, always and has the confidence that no matter what, her parents are there for her in every step of her life.
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