I woke today in a different mood. I am not sad and not mad. I am just reflecting. My road to Love and relationship has been rocky. I feel like I am so late in the game. I am struggling today with reality. The reality of relationships. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are not comfortable or beneficial for self.

I have been there many many times. When I retraced my steps, it always took me back to a choice I made. We are so quick to blame our mate but really if you look at your part sometimes you may see that you placed yourself there.

I talk about the 30 yr fling and how he didn’t love me. But I chose to stay with him waiting hoping that one day he would choose me. As I look back now I realize how I cheated myself and wasted so many precious years of my youth waiting for a man who would never choose me. Finally, I chose to get out of that. I did that many years ago but he never let go.

This post is for men and Women. The men who selfishly maintain soul ties with women whom they never intend to choose or build a life with. Women who don’t know their worth and keep choosing to be a concubine.

Some men choose to keep women on their line as concubines. Now some women don’t mind being concubines. That’s fine no judgment there because I chose that too for many years until one day I realized the precious gift God bestowed upon me as a Woman. I am a life-giver, a conduit of love, grace, and light.

To my brothers, I ask you to take a look at that woman you are using as your concubine, see her beauty, her spirit that you crush every time she yearns for more and you selfishly give her your speech about being free. How each time you have sex with her only to fulfill your flesh, you kill the love that dwells in her heart,her glimmer of hope gets dimmer with each encounter. You demean her instead of praising her. You contribute to her slow spiritual and emotional death. You can walk away and help save this woman. You can find another woman who is willing to be a concubine. But release that woman who desires more especially if you have no intentions of giving her more.

You should do this if you care at all because one day she will wake up and not even look for love. She will look for another man that will make her his concubine because its all she knows now. She has lost hope in love because now she feels unworthy. She has convinced herself that what she is receiving is love. She is in denial.

How do I know this? I was that woman for most of my adult life. When I divorced I chose to find a man who would my friend with benefits. I ran away from any man who wanted a wife. But when God showed me who I was as a woman, I made different choices. I stopped having sex became celibate and cleansed my soul of all of those ex-husbands.

Then I promised myself that I would I only give my body to one man. My husband, the man who loves me the woman and not my body only. When I made this choice I was prepared to be alone just in case he didn’t show up because there are more men who want concubines than who are seeking wives. This choice allows my soul to be at peace.

So, ladies take a step back and make sure you are seeking a relationship that will allow your soul to be at peace and aligned with your personal values. You do have a choice. Men stop taking a woman’s choice from her. Be upfront with her so she can choose before she is emotionally involved. It is cruel when a man waits until she is emotionally invested in him and then tells her that this is all I want take it or leave it.

Take responsibility for your choices and ask some questions before you have sex. It will save you years of heartache, frustration, and emptiness.