“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds and that’s what you’ve given me.” – a powerful quote and one of my all-time favorites, from THE NOTEBOOK.

For you to understand the types of Love I need to take us on a journey through time back into a time where I was still in college. Whenever I look behind my shoulder into my past, I have always recognized that I have had three significant relationships or ‘loves’, the last one whom I am currently dating and the one that I firmly believe is my soulmate.

• The first type of love is the most exciting, it is the idealistic love that looks just right, and it usually happens when we are in our younger years; as early as high school or college. This is the type of love that needs to look right for society’s sake; my first major love relationship was back in college and it was like a fairy tale, on paper anyway. I am a firm believer in what is meant to be will be, but this was not.

• The second type of love is the one we have all gone through, the hard love. This is the one where we find ourselves at our lowest. This is the type of love that will teach you a lot about yourself and others. This hard love will teach us that deep inside we just want to be loved and needed and not be alone. This is the kind of love that hurts, it might be because of a toxic relationship that struggles with power grabs, lies, manipulation and pain. This stage of your life relationships and love is like the first where you still ache for the person to be like the love that you have long idealized. I believe that we are programmed to do this in our need to learn further lessons. Six months after my first relationship, I fell in love with a girl from college that I had known for years. Again, just like my first love, I thought that this was the one, my soulmate, and boy was I ever wrong.  We lasted three dates, one kiss and half a year of trying to convince each other that we need to take a risk and date. This is the type of relationship that can become a cycle, one that we keep going back to because we have hope that things will be different. But every time you give it another try, it ends up worse than the previous attempt. This is the type of love that is like an emotional roller coaster with extreme highs and lows. It is easy to be addicted to such a storyline like some junkie trying to get his fix by sticking through the lows with the expectation of the high. I was so fixated in making it work with this girl that I never stopped to think if whether it should. This is the love that we wished was right; the one where we stubbornly believe that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth it.

• The brings us to my current significant other. The third and final type of love that swept me off my feet because I never saw it coming. As you may have read from my previous articles, I met my girlfriend in the online dating world and we just hit it off right from the first date. There was no pressure on how each person should act, we respect and accept each other for who we are. With her, I encountered a love that shattered any preset notions that I had about what love was supposed to be like. Things flow so smoothly between us that it is almost impossible to believe. This is the type of love that avoids the drama and concentrates on the positives. It is the love that feels just right; the one that lasts; the one that shows us why it never worked out before.

Sure, there are many who have only had one major love that has lasted them a lifetime; some will say that they are the ones that are the luckiest to have experienced that. But I would rather go through all three and learn as much as I can about myself, love and the others.

Credit for my research goes to the author of one article that totally related to my love life, Kate Rose from Elephant Journal. Read more of her article at https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/11/we-only-fall-in-love-with-3-people-in-our-lifetime-each-one-for-a-specific-reason/ for a deeper insight into the three types of love.

Whatever type of love you believe in, wait for the most unexpected and beautiful surprise of your life to sweep you off your feet, do not settle. A reputable and successful dating service such as ‘Lightning Speed Matchmaker’ can help you meet people with similar interests and lifestyles. Give love a chance to work its magic! You can visit their website at http://matchmaker.lightningspeeddating.com for more information about their membership plans, and so much more.

Article written by Don Sahan. A contributing author for Lightning Speed Dating blog.