Everything ended for me with this news. I didnt know how to react. Everything was going all so well when all of a sudden my mom informed me of this. My very first instinct was not to believe what she had just said, but seeing that expression and the tears that she was hiding all I could do was face the reality. The reality that had just tore my life into a gazillion little pieces.
I just sat there. I felt like a feelingless person. No tears rolled down my cheeks because I couldn't feel anything. I felt all my body go numb all of a sudden. I stared at my wall sitting still on the floor when all of a sudden a scream escaped my mouth and tears began to fall. I crouched myself like a little baby onto the floor and cried. Hearing my screams my mom ran to my room and stood there in dismay seeing me like this. She knew nothing could be done.
This was life. This was reality. I had been in my own little world for just too long that God had finally decided to show me the bitter side of life. I had been living with the support of someone's love for too long that God thought it was time to show me that this "love" and the "happiness" with it doesn't last forever.
It was 3 pm and I had to get dressed. I changed my clothes as we prepared to leave. Staring out of the window of my car I could see the leaves fall. Everything has to come to an end one day. But nobody can ever imagine how soon it is for this life to end. Everything seemed so grey that day. Dull. Life seemed meaningless now. I had started to gather my senses back but that was to be for a short time. The car stopped and I could see people crying and sobbing when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw HIM.
He was lying there lifeless. Not moving a muscle. I lost control over myself. Without wanting to I ran towards him. I wanted to tell him how much i love him just one last time. I wanted him to open his eyes and look at me. I wanted him to tell me that he loved me too. I wanted him to hold my hand and say, "hey everything is going to be alright".
I wanted to hear that voice one last time. I wanted him to hold me so that I forget about this world and the bitter truth of mortality and live in my own little world. I wanted to spend all those moments with him just once more so that I could value them and cherish them more. Without him I was LOST. I just wasn't ready to accept that someone who had been such a major part of my life would all of a sudden leave me here.
In the middle of a world that was unknown to me. He left me and this world just like that to be on our own. All those promises he had made had just vanished into thin air. This was life. It was unpredictable. One day I'd leave this world just like he had. I'd leave all my loved ones behind to sit and cry over my memories.
"If He Could Do That Then Why Not Me? "