I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour… but by the time I got my leotards on the class was over. #JustaJoke
The word "modem" is a contraction of the words "modulate, demodulate." (MOdulate DEModulate) #factoid
You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness. ~ From Much Ado About Nothing. #ShakespeareInsults
Whoever follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd. #oneliners
Dreams are the touchstones of our character. ~ Henry David Thoreau #quote
Life is much like writing in ink : All you can do is read over your past and look forward to a blank page for your future that will soon be filled with words that can never be erased. ~ Gabe Suico #quote
Don't be concerned others not appreciating you. Be concerned about your not appreciating others. ~ Confucius #quote
We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't know. ~ Dr. Larry Lea #quote
Kindness: a language the deaf can hear, the blind can see, and the mute can speak. #oneliners
Nova Scotia is Latin for 'New Scotland'. #factoid
You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any. ~ Bill Cosby #quote
Even though a marriage is made in heaven, the maintenance work has to be done here on earth! #oneliners
All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I've said before, bugs in amber. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote
ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~ Robert Orben #quote
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand #oneliner
CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult #bumperstickers
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. ~ Soren Kierkegaard #quotes
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. ~ Erma Bombeck #quote
PERSEVERANCE, n. A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? ~ Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) #quote
Cut to the Chase: Leave out all the unnecessary details and just get to the point. #ENGidiom
Never interrupt your opponent while he is making a mistake ~ Napoleon Bonaparte #quote
... true evil needs no reason to exist, it simply is and feeds upon itself. ~ E.A. Bucchianeri, A Compendium of Essays: Purcell, Hogarth and Handel, Beethoven, Liszt, Debussy, and Andrew Lloyd Webber #quote
I'm in shape. Round is a shape. #sliceoflife
i'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart ~ E.E. Cummings #quote
As for Doing-good...I have tried it fairly, and, strange as it may seem, am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution. ~ Henry David Thoreau, The Portable Thoreau #quote
Love, like paint, can make things beautiful when you spread it, but it simply dries up when you don't use it. #oneliners
The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. ~ Bill Copeland #quote
REFORM, v. A thing that mostly satisfies reformers opposed to reformation. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper. #oneliners
PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~ Albert Einstein #quote
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word #bumperstickers
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. #oneliners
If there is no enemy within, the enemy out side can do us no harm. ~ African #Proverb
For every human problem there is a solution that is simple, neat and wrong. ~ H.L. Mencken #humanNature
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit #bumperstickers
This post first appeared on Those Not Complicated Need Not Apply, please read the originial post: here
