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Judging

reason not to judge people

Assalamualaikum and good day !
How should I start my entry today? Awkwardness much!
Days are passing by in a light of speed that we are already in mid of August.

In today's post, I would like to write something personal...maybe not too personal. I would like to share about a nice conversation I had with a nice person.

Reason to stop judging people

You know what worry me most when I am in my late 20s ? Oh well, I'm not gonna tell you my age here. I have many thoughts running in my head right now sometime I feel like I have too many drawers in my head recently like a drawer I labeled as "pending" , "not important" and so on. 
Drawer I labeled as "pending" is always for things undone or things that I cannot solved even I already cracked my head for that. 

Married...is one of the things I currently put in my "pending" drawer. I'm happy when my friends invited me for their wedding, I mean it. But, deep inside my heart I asked and pray that my time will come soon. I mean... real soon. Even though I can say that I desperately wanted to get married and have my own family, I won't pick just anybody. I just won't. 

Let's make things short here. I just wanted to share my nice conversation with a nice person but suddenly ranting about wanted to get married. lols. Pardon my excitement pressing the keyboard after a long time. =)

Who are we to judge? 

Despite our best efforts, we all Judge others. It might be over small things, like a co-worker who took too long of a lunch break. Or it might be over bigger issues, such as a person who behaves selfishly or hurts our feelings. 

Well, I have this one nice conversation, that person told me that we must refrain our self from judging others. We cannot judge people from his/her previous life because human are not perfect. We always make mistakes. There is always a room for improvement because we need to improve our self daily. 
That person later addressed the importance of  embracing the weaknesses and try to improve it rather than judging it.  
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I nodded as sign of agreement. 
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"You cannot judge people cause judging is will actually kill the potential of knowing him/her better" 
That's what that person told me. 
and I kinda agree.

As our conversation went deeper, that person told me those principle of 'don't judge a book by its cover' is very useful in a realm of marriage. When we are married, no matter how long you know him/her before married, that years of knowing each other don't help much because the first day you started to live together with your partner is actually counted back to zero . That reason literally telling me why many broken marriage were from first to fifth year of marriage. That 1-5 years of marriage is actually an introductory phase to your partner. 

If you judge your partner, when he/her did sometime beyond your expectation, it will easily affected you. Therefore we must not judge others ,instead accept them the way they are and help them to improve. That person said in a marriage life, its impossible to make two souls living as one. Each person must have their own preferences,hobbies, good and bad. So, we must accept them without judging them. There are so many more positive things to do instead of judging.  Reframe! When someone does something you don’t like, perhaps think of it as they are simply solving a problem in a different way than you would. Or maybe they have a different timetable than you do. This may help you be more open-minded and accepting of their behavior.
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I nodded for the second time.
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I remember the book I  once read, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. That book also emphasize on differences and how to embrace it. 

So what I can relate between judging and my condition of wanted to get married, that person told me to not judge neither judge myself too hard or judging others. We can judge as a precautions but never too hard because we are human after all.  

Just because you took longer than others, doesn't mean you failed. Remember that.
Well, thank you friend for you wisdom words. 

I hope this sharing can give a little positive in your life as much as it gives me. 
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Till we meet again,


Thank You For Reading This Post ! Komen lah sikit =)


This post first appeared on Z E T Y H A S N A N, please read the originial post: here

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